Finding a Provider

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Decisions, Decisions

The first thing you’re going to need to do is get an idea about how much money you are comfortable spending. You can find providers in just about any price range, from less than $150 an hour to well into the thousands of dollars per hour. And, not unlike most other service industries, you generally get what you pay for – the higher the price the better the service. That’s not necessarily to say that the sex you’d get with someone charging $150 an hour is going to be any less satisfying than the sex you’d get with someone charging $1000 an hour so much as it is to say that the totality of the experience you’d get for the higher price would likely be more robust.

There are a lot of things that go into the price point that we set for ourselves (or that are set for us if working for an agency or a pimp).

Location (city, state). NYC escorts will be considerably higher on average than Nashville, for example.
The specific types of services offered. PSE services are usually significantly higher than GFE or straight sex.
Education level and the ability to present oneself as more refined.
The amount of time and effort we’re willing to expend on making your appointment a wonderful experience for you.
The provider’s financial situation.
Work-Life balance – how many clients we are willing to see vs. work, personal life, and everything else we have to do. The more clients you can see, the more you can make, obviously. Too many clients, though, is detrimental to a provider’s health and well-being.

What I will say is that you’re much more likely to get a “luxury” experience with a provider that charges you the higher amounts than you would with one who charges much less. If you’re just looking for a quick blowjob or a half and half (BJ and vaginal sex), then you may be perfectly comfortable spending less money. But if you’re looking for what is commonly referred to as a “girlfriend experience” (GFE), you’re probably not going to be getting that for $150 an hour. So you’ll also need to put some thought into what you’re looking for in terms of the whole experience before you move on.

Next, you’ll need to decide what kind of provider you’re looking for. Are you looking for a male or female, or perhaps someone who is transgender? Blonde, brunette, redhead? Large boobs or small boobs? Athletic body or voluptuous body? Are you looking for someone who appears very classy and elegant or are you looking for someone who has all sorts of body piercings and tattoos? It is quite possible to find providers with just about any possible body style or specific personal attribute these days in most major cities. Are you looking for a specific age range? You can find 18 year olds and women in their 50s making a good living as escorts.

You’ll also need to decide what services you want from your provider. Some escorts will provide you with a list of services they offer, while most won’t (doing so is basically telling the world you’re offering sexual services in exchange for money, which is technically illegal in most places of course). If you’re wanting anal sex, then it is important that you locate a provider who offers that. If you’re looking for a provider who offers a porn star experience, you’ll likely have a tougher time finding that. If the escort doesn’t specifically state what they’re willing to do in their ads, you’re likely to find that information in any reviews they have online (see the section on reviews below).

Do you want someone who does incall or outcall? Incall means the provider hosts you at her house, apartment, hotel room, or an agency-owned location. Outcall means the provider will come to you at your hotel, house, office, etc. Sometimes it costs a bit more to have them come to you (gas and car expenses, or driver/taxi expenses). Travel beyond the local area for the provider will usually cost more as well (usually around $50 or so, but higher if the mileage is significant). If you have a provider come to you at an office or a hotel, you’ll be expected to pick up parking costs as well.

Using Agencies vs. Independent Providers

There are two basic working arrangements for escorts. The first is the independent. She works for herself and is responsible for doing all of her own screening, handling e-mails and phone calls, scheduling, getting herself to/from appointments, etc. Some may outsource one or more of those functions, but by and large they’re wholly responsible for everything they do and are beholden to no one. They also get to keep every penny you pay them (minus taxes and expenses, of course).

Those who don’t work for themselves usually work for an escort agency. In these cases, when you dial the phone number you’re connected with the agency rather than a specific provider. The typical agency has multiple escorts working for it at any any given point in time and often pride themselves on offering a wide variety of service levels, body types, and personalities to their clients. The agency handles all of the screening and scheduling, often provides the escorts with drivers, and occasionally provides an incall location as well. In exchange for these services, the escort gives the agency a portion of the money you pay her, anywhere from about 20% to 50% or more. Usually, any tips you give the escort on top of the fee are hers to keep without having to share it.

There’s a third type of arrangement that bears some discussion. With the increasing danger of streetwalking, many pimps have taken to advertising their prostitutes on the Internet, usually on Craigslist or Backpage (see below). Some even have web sites that appear to be legitimate agency sites. Although not always the case, the girls that work for these people are often coerced or brainwashed into what they’re doing, and I’d encourage you to avoid them if you can.

There are no distinct advantages to you as the client in hiring one type over the other as a general rule, though going through a larger agency will allow you to enjoy some diversity without having to go through continuous screening processes. Some will argue that independent providers are generally more customer oriented while agency workers tend to want to get in, take care of business, and get out to see the next client (they have to work twice as hard to make the same take-home money the independent provider makes). That’s not always the case (in either direction), however.

Start Searching

Once you’ve decided what you’re looking for and have some idea of what you’re willing to pay for it, you’re ready to begin your search. The logical place to begin is, of course, the Internet. The easiest, quickest way to find someone in your area is to use a search engine and enter your city name and the word “escort,” then hit the ENTER button.

Usually the first returns will be from Eros and/or CityGuide. I’ll discuss them in a minute. For the time being, skip those. You should get some returns back for providers in your area who have their own web sites and some returns from escort agencies who offer escorts or companions in the city you searched for. You can click each of these, read through their sites and begin to get some idea if any might be what you’re looking for. Most independent escorts will have web sites with the same basic structure:

About Me (or “Bio”): Biographical kind of information that offers insight into her background and personality.
Rates and Services: Describes the level of service they offer and their rates. Some will go so far as to specify that they offer “BBBJ, Full Service, Greek, DATY,” but most will not. They may say they’ll offer a “true GFE” or something to that effect.
Appointments: How to go about booking an appointment with them (may be a form, phone number, or e-mail address).
Gallery: Photos of themselves, usually with their faces blurred out. This is necessary to protect their identity and your confidentiality.
FAQ/Etiquette: A page of frequently asked questions and the answers to them, along with information about how they want payment issues handled upon arrival and other etiquette information they consider important.
Reviews. Some will provide quotes from their clients about their service, or direct links to their reviews on TER, BD, or other sites.

An agency site will typically provide a list of the escorts they have available at the time, complete with photos of each, rates for their services, and procedures and contact information for booking purposes.

Advertising Malls/Sites

As I mentioned above, one of the first group of hits you’ll get back will be from Eros or City-Guide. Both of these are “advertising malls” for sex workers – the providers pay a (pretty steep) monthly fee to have their ads and banners appear on these sites. Since both of these sites rank near the top of the search results regardless of the city, most providers get quite a few hits this way. You can configure your search based on a number of criteria (hair color, chest size, body type, price range, etc.), and they have pretty decent coverage of the entire U.S. and some others.

Escort/Hobbyist Boards and Forums

A third way to find escorts is to peruse the variety of boards and forums frequented by providers and those who use their services. There are a plethora of these on the Internet. Most of them cater to specific regions of whatever country they’re in, though there are some who have sections for most major areas of the larger countries. I’ve provided a rather lengthy list of the ones I am aware of at the end of this article for your reference.

These are set up just like any other forum – there are posts asking about specific providers, reviews (covered below), ads posted by the providers themselves, and usually other areas for discussion of general odds and ends. You can use these forums to do research on the providers you’ve picked off the Internet. In some cases the providers themselves will post and interact with board users. You can get a sense of her personality and how she interacts with her clients, and perhaps even ask questions of her.

Alternative Newspaper, Yellow Pages, and Other Advertising

Although far less commonly used than they used to be, you can avail yourself of the Yellow Pages or alternative news papers to find providers, usually listed under “Escorts.” Alternative newspapers have become a bit more popular again in recent months with the crack down on the use of CraigsList for soliciting business. Just about every larger city will have one or more of these papers available for free at different locations.

Different countries may have some unique ways of advertising as well. For example, in the U.K. you’ll see “call cards” located on and around phone booths there (though they are illegal). Search the forums for your specific area to get a better idea of what to look for.

Word of Mouth, Referrals

Another way to find a provider is through word of mouth, or through referrals. If you know someone who’s seen escorts, you might check with them to see if they can recommend someone to you. And, if you have seen a provider in one city, you might see if she can suggest a provider in another city. Many of us are socially networked with other sex workers and are familiar with providers in other parts of the country.

Checking Reviews

Once you’ve narrowed your list down to a manageable few, you should see if they have reviews posted anywhere. Though some providers prohibit reviews, most don’t, and many have been reviewed on one of the two primary sites for this: The Erotic Review or BigDoggie.

Clients of the provider will fill in details about his appointment with the escort, including physical attributes, the types of services she provides, her rates, etc. He’ll also enter a narrative of the appointment to explain what happened (sometimes in vivid detail). You have to subscribe (for a small monthly payment) to be able to read the juicy details, but if you plan to see escorts on a fairly regular basis, you might consider laying down the coin so you can see what the clients really think. This is especially true for providers who’re not on the boards/forums that cover your area.

Once you’ve read through the reviews, you can further narrow your list down and prioritize it, then begin making contact to schedule an appointment with one or more of them.

I include the point about reviews despite the fact that I find them personally distasteful. In my opinion, what I do with a client during our appointment is done in private and should not be discussed on such an detailed basis. Obviously, I occasionally write about some of my appointments here (and then only rarely), but I do so masking identifying details and making the character’s names pseudonymous. That’s not the case with reviews on these boards. Still, I recognize that they can be invaluable aids to those seeking their first time with an escort.

Craigslist & Backpage

Though you hear about them in the media quite frequently, it is probably best to avoid using Craigslist and Backpage to find escorts. While there are a small handful of legitimate providers who do advertise on CL, the vast majority are bait and switch scams, set-ups for rip-offs, and so forth.

Bait and switch is where a provider (usually an agency or a pimp) will submit ads with one set of photos (often used over and over in multiple ads), and when you make the booking someone else entirely shows up. Usually the client just writes it off and goes ahead with the appointment anyway. Occasionally, though, the girl is accompanied by a driver or bodyguard who threatens violence against the client if he refuses to pay the full price or most of it as a “cancellation fee” if he refuses to go through with the appointment. And, of course, it is not unheard of for law enforcement agencies to set up reverse stings using CL, posting an ad and arresting the clients as they show up for their appointments.

One of the more common rip-off tactics is what is known as an upsell. When the provider arrives, you find out that the fee you’ve been told to pay (or already paid via credit card) is just for her to show up. You want sex? Oh, well, that is available for an additional fee of X dollars. If you want anal, that will be an additional $100, etc. Generally, the first fee goes entirely to the pimp or agency, and she won’t get any money out of it at all unless she’s able to convince you to pay the extra fees for the sex.

I should note that these kinds of tactics are used by those advertising in forums and on some of the lesser used advertising malls occasionally as well, so this isn’t necessarily limited to those who’re using CL. It just happens to be far more prevalent on CL.

If you do decide to try either of these venues, do a Google search on the phone number(s) listed. If they show up for multiple escorts (or, at least, posts with different photos or names), then it’s a good sign the number belongs to an agency or a pimp. If the same photos show up on multiple posts, you’re practically guaranteed to be the victim of a bait and switch. You can also search for the phone number(s) on the various forums to see if any information shows up (good or bad). Or you can post a request for information about it to see if anyone on the forum is familiar with the person or agency making the post. Hobbyists are usually pretty good about outing scammers.

Making Contact and Scheduling the Appointment

Once you’ve decided who you want to see, you need to make contact with her to arrange an appointment. Exactly how you go about this will vary depending upon the provider. Some prefer phone contact, some prefer e-mail, and some have a specific online form that you’ll need to fill out and submit. Any variance from the provider’s wishes on this are likely to get you ignored, so be sure and read the instructions on their web site and follow them.

In most cases, the provider is going to want to perform some kind of screening in order to ensure that you’re not a law enforcement type or some psycho looking to do her harm. This may require you to submit information including your real name, work phone number, and other personal information. The provider uses this to verify that you are who you say you are and that you don’t appear on any of a number of blacklists.¹ It’s your choice to provide the information, of course, but if you don’t, most likely, she’s not going to entertain you. You have to understand that, while you may be giving up some personal information, she’s the one risking her safety, freedom, possibly another job and even custody of her children. The provider isn’t going to do anything with your personal information and will usually destroy it once your appointment is over.

Some providers will ask for or allow you to use references from other providers in lieu of providing personal information. The assumption is that, if you’ve seen other escorts and they’re satisfied with you as a client, you’re probably pretty safe to deal with. Some providers go so far as to refuse to see clients who have not not been with other providers as well.

Many providers will accept members of pre-screening services such as Preferred411 or Date-Check. These services collect personal information from prospective clients, verify their information one time, and can provide a reference to the escort via a unique ID number. This way your personal information doesn’t make it into the hands of the escort herself. These services require the payment of a monthly fee.

Once the provider has screened you and is satisfied you’re legitimate, she’ll begin working with you to set up a date and time to see you. You’ll need a cell phone, if not at the outset once you begin the process of meeting her. For an incall appointment, there’s typically a two-call system. You call her and she’ll tell you to go to a specific location. Once you’re there, you call her back and she’ll provide you with specific directions to her location. For outcall appointments, she’ll need to be able to contact you to let you know she’s on her way or if she gets lost and needs directions.

All of the above apply pretty equally to independent providers and agencies, by the way.

Show Up and Enjoy Your Time

Once everything is set, all you need to do is show up (incall) or wait for her to show up (outcall). If this is your first time, be sure you’re familiar with the appropriate etiquette for an appointment with an escort. Bigdoggie has a good set of guides if you’ve not seen it. You should also double check your provider’s web site. Quite often, she’ll have her own expectations regarding etiquette, especially as it relates to how she wants you to handle the payment of her fee. Failure to handle the payment issues appropriately is one of the biggest pet peeves of most providers.

With the business part of the process taken care of, you’re free to enjoy your time with your companion. Have fun.

Resources

If you wish to add any links to the lists included in the article above or the lists below, just post them in the comments and I’ll add them in (if they’re legitimate).

Escort Advertising Locations

Backpage: Most US Cities, some Canada (see note on BackPage in the article)
Craigslist: Most US Cities, Canada/Int’l (see note on Craigslist in the article)
CityVibe: All States, some Canada
MyRedBook: CA, primarily SF & Sacramento
Lovings: Primarily San Francisco, LA, NYC, and Las Vegas
TNA Board: Seattle, Portland, Denver, Vegas, LA, PHX, SAC, San Diego, Vancouver
Red Eden: Many major cities in the U.S.
SouthernGFE: Southern and southeastern U.S.
Punternet: UK
TO Sluts: Primarily Toronto, though other Canada + London (UK)
Princess Network: Primarily Florida
Best GFE: All states, primarily New England & Mid-Atlantic. Some Int’l
Girl Directory: International, incl. U.S. & Canada
Escort South Africa: South Africa
Escort Ireland: Ireland
SD ASP: San Diego, CA
City Source: Los Angeles, CA
The Review Board: Seattle, WA
Canadian Escort Recommendation Board: All of Canada
Canada Adult Fun: All of Canada
Escorts Forum NZ: New Zealand
Escortsmania: International
Concierge Companion: Male escorts for women U.S./Int’l

Boards and Forums Related to the Escort Industry

North American

SP411: Primarily Canada (BC, ON, QC, AL)
USA Sex Guide: All states (includes info on streetwalkers as well)
PERB: Canada, BC, AB, SK, MB + Seattle (US)
MERC: Canada, primarily Montreal
MyRedBook: California, primarily SF & Sacramento
TNA Board: Seattle, Portland, Denver, Vegas, LA, PHX, SAC, San Diego, Vancouver
ASPD: All states, but primarily TX, FL, CA. Some International
Blue Pond: All states, primarily CA, NY, NV, FL, & TX
Avenue X: All states, primarily VA, NC, DC, & PA
Grain Belt News: Midwest states: IL, IA, MI, IN, WI, MN, OH, NE, MO, KY, SD, ND
Indys: All states, primarily PA, OH
The Other Board: Primarily CO
Independent Girls: Major U.S. Cities
Escorts.Com: Major U.S. Cities
Utopia Guide: Most of the U.S., primary focus on Northeast
Encounter Board: Washington state
Horn Dogs: International, mainly Central America. U.S., mainly TX & LA

International

Fun in Australia: Australia
MC-Escort: Germany, Switzerland, + other Europe (Site is in German)
Escort Forum.TV: Primarily FR & IT. Default language is French. Ads configurable, forum only French
Punternet: UK, Ireland
PunterLink: International
PuntingWorld: Primarily UK, but some Int’l
Concierge Companion Forum: International Male Escorts (for women)

Review Sites $ = subscription required

Captain 69: $ UK, GR, FR, IT, DK, UE, Some US + Others
The Erotic Review: $ All of the U.S., plus some Int’l
Big Doggie: $ All of the U.S., plus some Int’l
Troothsayerz: AZ, CA, CO, NV, NC, OR, TX, WA + Tijuana MX
MyRedBook: CA, primarily SF & Sacramento $ for VIP reviews
Top Hat Reviews: Primarily Seattle & Portland, WA
Naughty Reivews: Major cities in the U.S.
Adult Forum NZ: New Zealand
Escorts Forum Australia: Australia, primarily Perth
Best GFE: All states, primarily New England & Mid-Atlantic. Some Int’l
Provider Report: Major U.S. Cities
Canadian Escort Review Forum: All of Canada, primarily Vancouver
Montreal Escort Review Board: Montreal, QC
Montreal Escort Review Community: Montreal, QC
Toronto Escort Review Board: Toronto, ON
Yet Another Review Board: All of Canada, primarily Vancouver & Winnipeg