My Client Profile

One of the most common questions I get about my work revolves around the kinds of clients I see.  People want to know how old the clients are, if they’re “freaks,” socially awkward, abusive, if they like X or Y, if I “like” them, if they treat me well, and so forth.  Once people get over their initial shock about the fact that I do what I do, they invariably want to know about the people I see.

There’ve been quite a few escorts and prostitutes who’ve written about their work.  And while all have talked about the kinds of people they’ve seen, they tend to focus on the unique or controversial clients (politicians and celebrities, especially).  It’s somewhat rare to get a look at the broader demographics of the people most escorts see.  The reason behind that is the almost universal vanilla-ness of the average client.

British escort Rebecca Dakin, in her new book, The Girlfriend Experience: My Fun and Adventurous Life as an Escort, describes the way she categorizes the clients she’s seen in her several years of being a professional companion.  It’s the first time I’ve seen someone actually paint a defined picture of the people who’ve engaged her services.  Rather than quote the entire section, I’ll just summarize (and paraphrase to an extent) how she breaks them down.

Ages 18-30

• Guys looking for no-strings sex and companionship.  These guys who are a bit geeky and unsociable.  Sometimes they’re virgins.
• Arrogant guys who get off on paying for sex.
• Clingy guys who believe the escort relationship might evolve into a romantic relationship

Ages 30-40

• Guys who’re a bit lonely at home, usually married but have decided to see an escort because they don’t feel they get enough attention at home.
• Guys who’ve hit a mid-life crisis and need a bit of a pick-me-up to make themselves feel attractive again.
• Guys who’re too busy to socialize and don’t have the time to build relationships.
• Older single guys looking for a younger girlfriend.
• Older single guys lacking confidence.

Ages 40 and Over

• Guys who like to be seen with younger, attractive women.
• Older guys who need a bit of a pick-me-up, sometime addicted to seeing escorts (typically hobbyists, or punters)
• Guys who are seeking companionship and affection because their wives aren’t giving them any at home. They love their wives, but crave the affectionate touch of a woman.
• Guys who like the idea of being with a sexy, younger woman, usually obsessed with physical looks of the escort.

In a very broad sense, I suppose those could represent my clients as well.  The average client for most escorts (in the US) is a white male, in his mid-40s, and rather vanilla in his preferences.  I have had my share of most of those she outlines above (except for the virgins – see below).

From a more narrow perspective, though, my clients tend to be a bit younger than average, perhaps in their mid to late 30s. Many of my clients also represent something other than vanilla sexual preferences.  As you’ve probably picked up from my writing, I tend to be a bit more aggressive in bed, and actually prefer rougher, more aggressive sex, so this is fine with me.  Having said that, I can do straight suck and fuck like any other escort.

While I don’t keep detailed statistics about the proclivities of each client, there are some trends that have obviated themselves over the past 18 months or so.

The overwhelming majority of my clients have been white males, with a few Hispanics, Asians and a smattering of other cultural backgrounds sprinkled in from time to time.  I have yet to see an African American client (I did have one person tell me he was African American at the outset.  When I told him that was fine, he indicated he was really white and just testing me – he didn’t want to spend time with someone who wasn’t open minded enough to disavow race as a disqualifying factor.  As it turned out, we were unable to work out an agreeable meeting time, so I never saw him).

The youngest guy I’ve seen has been 22 and the oldest in his late 50s.  I’ve not seen any disabled or differently-abled clients.  I’ve seen one woman professionally. I haven’t had the pleasure(?) of taking anyone’s virginity thus far.

And while I’ve seen a few men who’ve been rather arrogant, demanding or pushy (I never allow second appointments with those types), I’ve not had the misfortune of having an assholish, misogynistic, disrespectful, or violent client. Yet.  Pretty much everyone has been respectful of me and my time.  Though I have a 100% satisfaction guarantee with my services, I’ve yet to have the first client even hint that they might be less than happy after an appointment, even when I’ve indicated to them I won’t see them a second time (which doesn’t happen until they try to book again, btw).

I don’t see anyone I can identify as a hobbyist (punters, for you British types) as a general rule.  I’ve made the occasional exception in the past, but negative experiences with a couple of them lately (including one I had planned to see but have since canceled on) have led me to refuse to see them if I know they like to accumulate escort notches on their bedposts (or belt).  Hobbyists just tend to have a different mindset than the kind of client I prefer to see.  They call them hobbyists for a reason, and I don’t really care to be just one more girl in their list of conquests.

I’ve seen a wide range of occupations, but the majority of them seem to be doctors and dentists, lawyers, business executives, and traveling businessmen or salesmen.  I’ve seen a couple of people I know to be politicians, pharmaceutical company reps, educators, authors/writers, a couple of professional athletes, an actor or two, a handful of blue collar workers, and the occasional college student.  My lone female client has a media job in the eastern part of the country.

I’ve seen clients who save their money up specifically to see me as well as those who are multi-millionaires and think nothing of dropping hundreds or thousands of dollars a pop to spend time with me.  One client spent more on my services last year than a great many Americans make in annual salary.  Most of them seem to be well off, even for this part of the country (which has a considerably higher cost of living than just about any place outside of New York City, even higher than Los Angeles).

I’ve been very fortunate in that I am able to keep a pool of fairly regular clients, especially among local business executives, lawyers, and business people who travel to the city on a recurring basis (No, my personal attorney is not a client).  And while it is nice to have that kind of stability in my client base, it prevents me from taking on many other clients whom I know would like to book time with me.  My primary focus is on accumulating money, however, not seeing as many people as I can.

I do have a preference for developing regular relationships over seeing itinerant clients continuously.  Not just from the perspective of having a (relatively) steady stream of money coming in, but it allows me to get to know them, which allows me to serve them better (and has in many cases, allowed me to help clients explore some aspects of their sexual psyche they might not otherwise have done).  I develop a comfort level with them, which reduces the amount of stress associated with screening and those first-time meetings.

Most of the guys I see are just regular people; you’d never suspect that they utilize my services if you saw them walking down the street, operating on your brain, or defending you in court.  I know that about half of them are married, and I suspect a good percentage of the rest are as well.  Some guys don’t have a problem discussing their wives and family with me, while some haven’t mentioned it the first time (the ring outline on their finger gives it away, though).

My favorite clients are those who come to me with a great attitude, have an open personality and open mind and want to explore a bit – those who’ve got something they want to try that they haven’t been able to before.  I guess that’s just the natural sex educator in me manifesting itself through this part of my life. 

I can sense that many of the guys I see would prefer not to have to pay for my services, but are resigned to having to do so.  Some legitimately just don’t have the time or the desire to pursue real relationships.  One of my clients is on the road 90% of the time – it’s just not feasible for him to try to pick up someone while he’s on the road continuously.

I don’t keep a “waiting list” per se, but there are several dozen men who’ve (seriously) indicated they’d like to spend some time with me if and when I have an opening, some from as far away as Italy.  I try to reach out to the ones who contacted me first when that occurs.  It’s quite heartbreaking for me to have to turn down someone who’s just arrived in town and wants to see me on short notice, especially those who’ve indicated they’ve read my blog and seem legitimately excited at the potential of meeting me.

I’ve had to terminate relationships with two clients because they’ve gotten more attached to me than they should have.  I’ve only had one person book an appointment with me and not show up at all without letting me know (and that was on my tour in Las Vegas).  I get quite a few clients who fly in late in the evening and want to see me once they get settled into their hotel (and with all of the airline delays, often results in rescheduled bookings or the occasional canceled appointment).

In terms of the sex, probably a good two thirds of them have asked to go down on me.  About half have wanted in my butt, and maybe 20% wanted to give me a facial.  Almost all of them have wanted to go through the basic missionary, doggy, and cowgirl positions, with only about 10% wanting to try some of the more acrobatic stuff (I do get the occasional request to try the piledriver position, though some have to ask me what it is exactly).  Probably one third of them can get into the pounding sex, and maybe half of that number have a preference for the rougher, more aggressive sex.

I can count on one hand the number who’ve slapped my boobs with any force.  Two have spit on me (with permission); one wanted to play with erotic asphyxiation (I declined due to safety reasons).  About nine out of ten are circumcised. I’ve peed on a dozen or so clients, and been peed on by about the same number (not necessarily the same clients).  I’ve done bareback vaginal penetration with one client one time, though it has been requested (and higher prices offered) a not insignificant number of times.  Surprisingly (to me, at least), I’d not had a single client ask me to sodomize him with a strap-on until I went on tour this past August, though I have had my finger inside a great many male rectums on the job.

I’ve been the center in one blowbang, a handful of sessions with couples, and a small number of doubles with another provider and a client.  I’ve never had to use my warning or stop safe words with a client, though I have told clients to cease doing something that was irritating me (almost all of them fingering me incorrectly) or outside my rules of engagement during the sex (and in each case they complied without complaint).  I have never once felt threatened or scared with anyone paying for my services.

When I set out in this business, I made the conscious decision to see only a limited number of clients over any given time period.  I won’t see more than three or four people in any one week, for example.  This was primarily to keep myself from burning out, but it has also resulted in more demand than there is supply.  If you paid attention in your Economics 101 class, you know what that means – higher prices. 

So my client demographics are obviously somewhat different from Rebecca’s characterization of those she’s seen (though there are clearly similarities as well).  Much of that has to do with the differences in how we work.  One of the points she makes many times in her book is that she prefers the longer and overnight dates, whereas the two hour assignation is more my style.  I’ve been on the occasional overnighter (and out of town a couple of times), but I just don’t have a penchant or a preference for keeping someone entertained for long periods of time like that.  She also dislikes anything other than the softer sex – she specifically states that she doesn’t do “PSE.” 

I think it is perhaps important to note that my client pool differs significantly from that of most other escorts.  With the possible exception of the more aggressive sex, the style and behavior of the people I see is not atypical for other escorts operating in the high end of this industry.   The majority of the people who request my services find me through referrals, banner exchanges with other professionals, and most importantly, through my blog and Twitter posts.  I haven’t had to advertise any place to any great extent in quite some time now.

If you get the chance, pick up a copy of Rebecca’s book, even if you’ve read those written by other escorts.  Hers is the first I’ve read by a British sex worker and it is interesting to see how the work differs from the way it is here in the U. S., as well as the disparity between how she constructs her work personality vs. the way I and others I know do.  She has a blog, and a Twitter account, too, by the way, if you wish to keep up with her.

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