For the longest time, I’ve been somewhat embarrassed by my fascination with being ass fucked. Seriously. I talk about it a lot, and occasionally someone will ask why I have such an incredible infatuation with being penetrated anally. Ever since my first time being sodomized, and the resulting intense, mind-bending orgasm that flowed from it, I’ve been anally focused, regardless of whether my partner was male or female. I come away from sessions with clients less satisfied if they don’t fuck me in the ass. I don’t complain, of course, because I’m there to serve them, not my own needs. Still, the longing is there. It occasionally manifests itself at the most inopportune times and I am forced to take matters into my own hands.
I recently acquired a copy of The Surrender, by Toni Bentley. In it, she describes in excruciatingly erotic detail how she, too, came to be anally centered. In her, I’ve found a distant soul mate, connected somehow through a mutual appreciate of having a long, thick, hard cock pounding us into submission, surrendering our naughty, dirty hole to someone else’s pleasure.
Both of us contemplate how our sex came to be so anally centered. A passage in her book, though it may not be the final word on it, struck me as both cogent and humorous. I thought I’d share it with you as today’s thought of the day.
My ass began life as the tiny pale recipient of Daddy’s angry hand. It was the place of shame, the site of humiliation, the area to hide from The Hand. It received the proof of my shameful badness, my seemingly unavoidable wrongness. I was Bad and I was Punished. And now that same ass – older but wiser – is the coveted arena of a lover’s pleasure where I am naughty and rewarded. And so my ass remains the strongest point of contact with the most important men in my life. It holds my deepest and oldest emotional nerve endings.
Is there a direct connection between getting spanked on the bottom, as I was as a child, and my inclination to being anally penetrated? Possibly. If every father who spanked his little girl thought he might be creating a hungry little sodomite, well, that might be a deterrent.
Being sodomized now, by choice, reconciles this injury with a scenario of the dominant male and obedient little girl. Instead of rejection and criticism, I am told, “Good girl, good girl.” The nastier I am and the better I suck his cock, the better I am, until I’m the goodest little girl in the world. I am finally loved. The relief it brings me is profound.
I, with my total submission, in fact wield a great healing power: the more I submit the more excited he gets, until I enter the deepest phase of surrender and he comes. He only comes when I’ve given it up. It takes a lot of surrender, discipline, and love to let a man fuck your ass hard enough, long enough, deep enough, and fast enough to shoot. His orgasm is my victory over my lesser self, over the pain of my anger. It fills the hole; I’m finally whole.
The only disparity between her experience and mine, interestingly, is that I was never spanked as a child. My parents, my father, didn’t believe in it. 
If you get the chance, pick up the book and read it. It is quite well-written and offers some interesting insight into why some of us enjoy taking it in the butt.
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That is fascinating stuff. I tried it once. Without lube. She just told me to stick it in. It did not feel near as good as the pussy and I would have prefered some lube I guess. I don`t feel the need to pass some supposed taboo line nor to have my male ego fed. Kind of like my one and only 3-some. I felt like I had to do the exact same thing to both women for the exact same amount of time. Someone told me, “wrong women.”
If the woman wants it though I am very happy to oblige. I am beginning to think they like it more than the men do. Though I personally do not understand why men like it exactly.
Trying it without lube is fairly dangerous, too. You can easily tear the anus and rectal tissue.
I’m assuming you’re wondering why men like fucking women in the ass? If that’s what you mean, then it usually has to do with the fact that the anus is a tighter grip on the cock than the cunt provides.
I’ve done a girl anally a few times. The first couple times were so-so and kind of messy. The most recent time was about 6 months ago and it rocked. No lube, just her spit. We both loved it. She later told me it hurt but that she’s into pain. Not sure what to make of that because she was physically and sexually abused as a child…
That said, I generally can’t come with a gal anally. Though the o-ring is tight, once you’re inside it doesn’t clasp the whole shaft the same way as a pussy.
Not sure what to make of that because she was physically and sexually abused as a child
You don’t need to make anything of it. The two are not necessarily connected.
I generally can’t come with a gal anally. Though the o-ring is tight, once you’re inside it doesn’t clasp the whole shaft the same way as a pussy.
For some it is like that, yes. The experience is different for everyone involved. Some can cum easily with anal; some can’t.
If you get the chance, pick up the book and read it.
I will; as a guy who love having something up his ass I find stuff like this fascinating. I also love to compare and contrast the experiences of females to my own.
Though I personally do not understand why men like it exactly.
For me my unfulfilled desire to give anal definitely increased when I discovered how good it feels; the idea of helping someone else feel that same pleasure is extremely powerful.
While we’re on that topic it goes directly against society’s definition of masculinity but the ability of my body to directly give and receive anal is quickly becoming one of the characteristics I use in my personal definition of what makes me male. If society doesn’t like it that’s its problem.
For me my unfulfilled desire to give anal definitely increased when I discovered how good it feels; the idea of helping someone else feel that same pleasure is extremely powerful.
Agreed. That is one of my favorite things, too. And one reason why I almost always rim a girl I’m with for the first time – just because I am almost positive no one has gone there with her and want to give her something to remember me by (lol).
Wow… as a guy who is fairly obsessed with anal (giving mostly, but some experience receiving as well) it’s great to hear that I don’t always need to feel guilty about the woman I am on top of.
I am shocked to see two male commenters right off the bat say they didn’t like ass fucking a woman. I guess I had been thinking that most guys given the chance would ass bang away like I do, but that’s silly because of course we’re all different. I have no problem coming from it. In fact once my cock enters my woman’s ass my mind explodes and it’s all I can do to keep from coming. The brain is the biggest sex organ and ass fucking just gets the pulse racing and drives my brain wild.
I’m gonna get the book, the topic is too good to resist. :)
I don’t always need to feel guilty about the woman I am on top of.
Absolutely not – especially if she’s asked for it or gets off on it.
I have no problem coming from it. In fact once my cock enters my woman’s ass my mind explodes and it’s all I can do to keep from coming.
Interestingly, A lot of my clients who do me anally are ass fucking someone for the first time, and almost invariably they can’t hold back for more than a few moments once they get inside my butt.
Oh and it’s a huge shame that you or any woman would feel embarassed about having an anal fetish. It makes the world worse for those of us guys with the same fetish. :)
Well, I guess it stems from the fact that I talk about it a LOT. I’ve had people ask me if that’s all I think of, and that gets a bit embarrassing at times. I’m certainly not embarrassed to enjoy being sodomized.
Though I’m trying to get over it, I also am rather embarrassed by my anal fixation. I’m getting better at being comfortable with my own sexuality, but at the same time, even though in this day and age it’s hardly taboo, it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a ‘nice’ girl is supposed to be enthusiastically into.
I try not to over-analyze things; I have pretty much decided that my obsession with having things put up my butt (and with playing with other butts, and butts in general) is mostly due to the fact that it is sexy to me and feels really good. That, and I think the ‘naughtiness’ of the area/act is a turn-on for me. I kind of hate the idea that I’m working through childhood issues when I’m being gloriously butt-fucked, but who knows, I guess it could be the case. I’ll check out the book.
it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing a ‘nice’ girl is supposed to be enthusiastically into.
Well, I gave up being a “nice girl” years ago. You should try it as well
I think the book will speak to you a bit. Let me know what you think of it.
I’m on that list of guys who love anal but alas it’s not on the menu at home… But I always find it intriguing (and yes arousing) to read your experiences and pleasures with it.
I do find it interesting in my experience that for women at least it seems anal is either a “love it or hate it” kind of thing – I don’t recall a single lover in my past who was just “eh whatever, if that’s what you want” about assfucking. If it was something she was open to it was absolutely great on both sides, if it was something she had zero interest in (or had tried and not liked) then it didn’t matter how aroused she was or who the partner was, ass-play wasn’t going to please her. And, while some say a lot has to do with how a person’s first anal experience goes (if the partner was gentle enough to ease things in, proper preparation etc), I also think a great deal is similar to you miss in that the urge was there before the event…
Just my curious thoughts based on what you said – is your experience similar, or are more women “on the fence” than I realize?
I think women of the younger generation are a lot more open to it in general terms than older women are. Much of that has to do with what you’ve seen referred to as the “pornification” of society (which is why facials are such the rage these days). Every porn scene filmed these days has an anal penetration in it, so it is very common. And fortunately (I guess), we’ve managed to do away with the old myth that anal sex is always painful, so more women are just a lot more receptive to it, I think.
The same is true to a degree with men as well. More and more males are becoming more receptive to anal play. Certainly not on the scale as I’m seeing with women, but it is an upward trend.
The last lover i had who wanted anal was well prepared and already lubed for it. I wasnt shocked but she was the first one who didnt wince in pain. I figured she was experienced at it. She was abt 10 yrs younger and was heavily into porn (another first for me). I do admire the younger generation for at least this. They are much more experimental than we were.
I do admire the younger generation for at least this. They are much more experimental than we were.
I do agree with that in general terms, yes.
“I come away from sessions with clients less satisfied if they don’t fuck me in the ass.”
That definitely would NOT be an issue were I one of your clients.
Why are we so fixated on anal sex? I can’t really say but I do think that our sexual desires and preferences (or lack of them) derive from our childhood experiences. At least mine did. For example, as a child I had a young, pretty babysitter/nanny who was also a nursing student and I was her favorite guniea pig! Needless to say, I had many anal erotic experiences from the numerous enemas , rectal temps, and spankings that she gave me. I hated it all at first but eventually grew to enjoy my “time” with her and I even experienced my first ever orgasm during one such session. I was instantly hooked at that point and have been ever since, and I credit her for making me the butt-freak I am today! LOL Now I love vaginal and oral sex even more than the next person, but anal (giving and receiving) is certainly my first choice and just about all of the women I’ve ever been with have agreed. My orgasms (and those of my partners) are much stronger and way more intense when we’re “doin’ the nasty” in the ass; you go to a level that simply can’t be achieved with vaginal or oral…
You haven’t had sex until you’ve had anal…how ’bout it Alexa? ;o)
I do think that our sexual desires and preferences (or lack of them) derive from our childhood experiences.
Some do, to be sure, but that is not the only set of experiences that impact our sexual proclivities.
That’s quite an interesting set of experiences as a child, though.
.you go to a level that simply can’t be achieved with vaginal or oral.
Agreed (And Toni agrees with you, too, I’m sure).
I had a long term fwb who at our last (!) meeting suggested she wanted eventually to do anal. I was taken aback SADLY and didn’t know how to go for it. I am sure that wasn’t the reason for it being our last meeting but I wish I had been better prepared (knowledge first).
p.s. Toni seems to be intelligent + hot. Obviously a winner
I wish I had been better prepared (knowledge first)
I agree, preparedness is always best. That’s one reason why I think very robust sex education is a good idea (including instruction on techniques).
Alexa,
My new gf loves to finish off a great session of regular hard fucking with some hot sodomy…It leaves her feeling fully fucked and statisfied….For me it’s hot to feel my cock being gripped and sucked in after trying all her other holes..and I love watching her face as I make her cum again..
R
It is quite the intense way to end a sex session, isn’t it?
Sorry to disagree with our Princess but for me at least it’s not about the sensations on my cock. It’s a huge mind job! Some of the turnons are interacting with the most muscular part of her body, the idea that there’s nothing between the end of my cock and the very centre of her being, and the level of trust that’s necessary for really good butt sex.
I also like the way that older women in particular quickly become anal addicts once past the initial reticence.
After a couple of fairly brief anal-only relationships I now have a long term lover who has also given away vaginal sex in favour of the The Other Entrance. The reasons are complex but in general terms they have all felt the pressure of being owned by a vagina and see anal as a great way to make a fresh start!
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