Last night, I had one of my regular clients e-mail me a question that I thought was quite interesting. As you know, most escorts have a professional web site where they advertise themselves and their services. For instance, the typical escort will have an “About Me” kind of page where they provide some insight into their background, a “Rates” page, a photo gallery, and a few other pages that serve a variety of purposes.
What if potential clients had a web site? One where they could have the “About Me” page, a gallery, and some background information about themselves for escorts to use in deciding whether or not to see them. I don’t know that it would necessarily serve in lieu of screening, but it could, especially if there’s some way for escorts he’s seen to post comments about him as a client (reviews? lol).
It’d be nice to be able to get some background information about the men (and women) I see professionally. All of my clients have read a good deal of information about me by the time they book me, and that puts me at a bit of a disadvantage from the outset, since quite often I know little about them. So I could see some utlity in something like this, though I suspect it’d serve the middle and higher end escorts more than anything else.
What are your thoughts? If you’re a client/potential client, is this an idea you’d entertain? Do you think it is a good idea? If you’re an escort, would you use such a site to pre-screen/screen a client to determine if he’s someone you’d see. Would you accept testimonials from other (known) escorts in lieu of your current screening processes?
What say ye?
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{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I would think that would be what a date-check profile is, or should be.
I’ve not used Date Check, so I don’t know. Maybe someone else could answer that. It costs money, too, doesn’t it?
I don’t see how it could be done in a practical sense, unless there was some why to “anonomize” (is that a word?) ourselves the way you all do.
If there is one thing you require, it’s our real names so you can do some background checks on us (appropriately so).
But assuming there was a way to create an online alter ego that would be acceptable to the escort community, then I’d be all for it.
Plus, I’d like to read my “reviews”
Well, I’d expect you’d still have to provide your real name and all of that, but you could still point an escort to your web site for informative purposes.
And you could also blur out the face and other things like escorts do on their sites.
I’m sure you’d get excellent reviews.
I am not an escort nor a client but the main pitfall in this plan could be that it would open up the potential of wives/girlfriends/potential girlfriends finding out about their usage of escorts long before they otherwise would have. The individual would have to be as scrupulous in their profile updates and content as they are with their credit card bills and explanations of where thousands of dollars are being spent. Whilst it is not *easy* to determine who somebody is through their writing style, it is still possible and could potentially open a big can of worms.
Of course, that only applies for married/coupled men. Single guys can do whatever they want~
It would be a good idea. Sex workers need to be as informed as possible about the men they are agreeing to spend x amount of time with and a profile would be good.
I agree with your points. I suspect it’d be a good idea to have it excluded from search engines and not publicized anywhere (other than maybe your profile on a review board or whatnot). That would minimize the chances of a partner coming across it.
Certainly issues to consider, to be sure.
Thanks. ;-0
This can be done. Below are some things you would consider doing to have this happen.
- When you register your domain name for your site, make sure you make the whois data private.
- Make a second Paypal account that is not linked to your checking account in any way and pay your domain name and hosting fees with that account. Most accept Paypal as a payment
- Anytime you access the website you have created, use a proxy server to access the site. This way if you have a computer savy wife or girlfriend they wont be able to track the IP if it ever got into the search engines.
- Make sure anytime you access the site, your paypal account or hosting you clear all cache, cookies and history. I recommend CCleaner. It does it all with a press of a button.
Just a few thoughts. I am a big fan of this blog.
I might not think it would work, but it brings a bigger question to mind for me. Why is it that I am concerned about putting myself online, but I expect if of the ladies. A double standard. And really isn’t your exposure more than mine? The risk is the same really, but this is an entirely different conversation.
I do like the idea of reading my reviews, or maybe I don’t, 5’s and 6’s would be embarrassing……..
I’m in agreement with the above concerns about privacy. There is no way most people (myself included) would put any real info (name especially) on a website of that nature even if it were not displayed on the site or comes up in a search engine. What if the data was compromised? I can imagine more than one blackmail scenario. Also, what would a blurred pic of a client do you? You are not paying them, they are paying you. And on that note, at $200-$600 (or more) per hour, I think escorts can put in the time to screen their clients, hmm? And on top of all that, I’m failing to see how a client website would benefit the clients anyway. Seems to me the only ones who would make out are the providers as this is simply a free marketing tool for them. Not bagging on the idea, I’m sure it would get some takers, but not very many.
Interesting idea. But…I already have little interest in clients who seemingly spend most of their lives online on discussion boards; I’d have even less interest in one who felt his level of involvement with escorts necessitated an entire website about himself.
I have had a couple clients who blog and blog well. But their blogging is for themselves, not necessarily for escorts to get to know them. The main reason for an escort’s website is for her business. I heartily dislike “professional” clients. I like the chance to get to know someone on my terms, asking what I want to know, learning about him on our shared time — as opposed to his self-marketing efforts. Chances are very high he’s going to say something completely unappealing and since it’s onscreen and not a conversation — there’s no way for him to qualify it for me (nor would I bother to ask if it were offensive enough).
Screening takes care of starting the conversation, everything else after that is up to us and only us. I like our relationship to be private and between us. References are always welcome if they’re with established escorts, but again, that’s part of screening/verifying him, not a personality test, just like using a screening service.
This idea has already been taken to the next level in a non-serious way here:
http://www.pimpthepunter.co.nz/
In the end, it comes down to how he spends his free time. I like clients who spend their free time pursuing genuine outside interests, with their loved ones (or with me!). And who spend the rest of their time living life — not posting online profiles about themselves.
XX
Hum, as (hopefully) a “good”, albeit occasional, client I am in favour of a site whereby escorts can check that I’m “OK”, but that is a very long way away from me promoting myself. I am sure many Europeans like me find it hard to comply with the screening requirements of the average sensible US escort when we visit. I don’t have a string of US escorts I can use as references, so a web site which would confirm I am safe, reliable and respectful would be int best interests. But that’s all. Why would any escort need to know how skillful I am in bed or his well endowed I am? It’s just not relevant to the service provider. The TER “White list” was supposed to do this (but no good for nonregular US clients).
In the UK, Adultwork has a place for vlinets to post a profile of themselves, but they are hardly likely to be objective and the site itself can be a bit seedy
I am in favour of anything that helps escorts in their screening process, but that’s all. Like Amanda, I think part of the fun of the meeting is getting to know each other
sorry for all the typos, I shouldn’t try and do this from my phone!
I think I have to agree with those who are not wild about the idea. I have a few very regular providers that I see and will sometimes see someone new. For the new person I think they will get a more honest assessment of me from my regulars (if they are willing to talk to UTR’s). Anything I put in a website could be polished to the point where it is no longer anything but self serving and disingenuous.
At the high end, providers already learn about me professionally by Googling me (I am easy enough to find). I think if they want background other than Google, it might be worth a quick phone call or an email exchange (although I think that email goes awry too easily sometimes).
A better solution (which must exist somewhere) is something like an escort review site where clients could be reviewed by providers. Most clients have a “play” email account which could be used as the unique identifier. The email would be used to search, but not appear onscreen. Instead the client would be onscreen with the first name he uses or a number.
Providers would go in, type in the email to see if the client is there and either read or add a review. A site like this would also be specially categorized for the things that providers find most important (fetishes, generosity, manners, hygiene, punctuality, etc.)
A new project for you Alexa?
I had another thought. The site could be set up to email the client whenever any new reviews were written. Clients might also have the ability to upload photos, but not to otherwise edit the content.
It seems to me that Facebook would already cover enough of the ‘About Me’ stuff for the clients…
But obviously not the reviews from the providers…lol… I doubt I’d want *that* info on my wall…
(Side question… Have *you* ever declined someone based on their appearance? If I want an Amazonian redhead, I can shop until I find one… you don’t exactly have that luxury…)
Never thought of that.
But I always do ask potential clients for an introduction and some glimpses of their personality, beyond sexual preferences… and sometimes those turn into interesting conversations before an appointment. So that essentially provides me with the background and ‘about me’ info someone might be willing to share.
I know some escorts feel such correspondence could be a major waste of time. But others, me included, find this the most enjoyable way to conduct business and determine compatibility. I never booked an appointment unless the prospective client was willing to tell me about himself.
I honestly think it’s a good idea. But there are some good points about the negative view, which I agree with as well. It’s quite conflicting. Though, I believe that if anyone were to set up a profile, it would be the hobbyists. Plus, guys newer to the industry would probably be hesitant to do it. I’m for it – despite the fact that people setting up their profiles could lie (and if law enforcement got wind of it, they would be all over it) – if only it were “safer”.
Something rather like that DOES exist. In a limited form, anyway. But before I get into that, perhaps some brief background about the particular context in which it works. This is probably already old news to many of your readers, but based on the comments above, I suspect not all.
Around these parts (Texas), it is becoming increasingly common that clients do NOT have to share their real names, workplaces, etc. as part of screening. An alternative has developed and flourished, relying instead on references from other ladies. What people came to realize was that if Lady A wants to make sure the prospective client is OK, by talking to Lady B whom he’s seen before, she doesn’t necessarily need his real name to do it. She can use, for example, a first name and email address that he supplies — and that Lady B will recognize.
If you think about it, it’s a lot like how clients check out a lady. She has a website, reviews, etc. — but almost never provides her real name. She uses a stage name that over time that becomes almost as real an “identity” as does a special email address I use for P4P or a screen name I use on review/discussion boards. I *am* “Chevalier” in almost exactly the same way you are “Alexa.”
Is that type of screening perfect? No, but it does have some advantages over the traditional method. First, because by talking to Lady B, Lady A can find out more than just that he’s not LE and doesn’t have a criminal record — she can find out a bit about his behavior and even his personality, or things she needs to be aware of. After all, there are a lot of guys who are not LE and don’t have a criminal records but are still real jerks that a lady might prefer to avoid. Traditional screening doesn’t detect that; checking with other ladies he’s seen may. Second, if clients are more comfortable with not supplying their real name (just as the ladies are) — and many of us are — we’re perhaps somewhat more likely to take the risk of scheduling an appointment, which may lead to more business over all.
In any event, that’s the way it works down here for the most part. I’ve had to supply my real name only once that I can recall in the last five or six years.
Of course, this works even better for those who not only participate in P4P fairly often (and therefore have ladies whom they can offer as references) but also are active in online communities, posting reviews and participating in discussions. That allows you to build up not merely a reputation but also for ladies to become aware of your personality. Just as clients may choose whom to see, and whom to avoid, based on their websites or their posts on review/discussion boards . . . some ladies can identify clients whom they DON’T want to see because of their obnoxious behavior on such sites. :)
I recognize and accept that such active involvement in writing reviews and participating in discussions is frowned on by a lot of ladies. Amanda is not necessarily atypical in preferring not to see guys like that/guys like me. I understand it; I sympathize; I certainly don’t blame those who would want to avoid me as a result. Que sera, sera.
Anyway, with that as background: There’s a lady in Canada (Gina) who runs a very popular agency down here in Dallas, Private Connection. The agency found itself responding to requests for references on its clients, from other (independent) ladies those clients wanted to see. Seeing a business opportunity, she developed a site that was initially intended primarily as a “third party screening” service — http://www.preferred411.com. Clients would apply for a membership; P411 would verify them (either by checking their real life info or their references from other ladies); and give them an account and a code. Then, when you want to see someone new, you give them your P411 code, they contact P411 and confirm that you’re “verified.”
It quickly became a more automated process. The ladies did not *review* clients, but the system allowed a lady to give an “OK” to a client whom she’d seen and would recommend. The OK’s are dated as well, so someone wanting to check me out (with my code) could see not only what ladies would vouch for me but how recently they had seen me. A vouch from a couple of years ago understandably might not carry much weight; ditto from someone the lady didn’t know anything about. (In order to get access to the system, though, ladies did need to provide information to Gina’s crew so THEY could be verified, and provide contact information so that a lady checking references could contact them if desired.) And since it was all on the system, it was FAST. Rather than calling the reference name/email/phone # I provided, and waiting for Lady B to call or email back, Lady A could simply log on, enter my code, and immediately see that Lady B (and others) had given me an OK. Obviously, screening should extend beyond merely checking the OK’s, but a surprising number of ladies are rather lax about it; some don’t even check your P411 code, just want to see that you (claim to) have one. In any event, P411 did simplify and speed up the process. And if I see Lady B and she has a problem with me, she can tell Gina; depending on the circumstances, I might have my membership revoked, making it harder for me to see Lady A.
I don’t think “reviews” in the way described above — at least, that clients could see — would work very well. Ladies have an incentive, if they want repeat business, to flatter their clients, so reviews wouldn’t be very honest. If Lady B would gladly see me again, because this is after all a business, but would rank me somewhere in the middle of the pack . . . well, rating me a 6 or 7 might hurt my feelings such that I would not return. As escorts learn very early, men have incredibly fragile egos. I’m sure it’s very frustrating having to deal with us. :) But an “OK” doesn’t have that problem.
The system also now allows clients to store a bit of personal information. But it’s not really to *market* ourselves; it’s more to allow a lady to find out a LITTLE bit about what makes us tick and hopefully contribute to a mutually enjoyable time. Some guys treat that as a way of listing specific requirements as to activities; some provide information about their appearance (but without a picture) so we won’t be a rude surprise when we show up; some try to provide some meager insight into our personality, which may allow her to decide not to see us at all (if she thinks we’re not compatible) or at least to be prepared.
I have a P411 account, and filled out the profile. It most certainly was NOT written to brag and convince a lady to see me. In the first place, I couldn’t talk about what a great stud I am with a straight face. In the second place, I’d rather she gets a fairly honest perspective of what I’m like. If she is uneasy with that, or needs to be convinced to see me . . . we’re BOTH better off if we don’t meet. N’est ce pas?
P411 also now provides the ladies an opportunity to post profiles of themselves, with pictures, rates, links to their websites, descriptions, biographies, and links to reviews.
It’s very popular down here. Thousands of ladies across the country use it and I suspect just as many or even more clients. Not necessarily the clients that Amanda or you or some of the other ladies above would want to see, of course. :)
————-
Sorry for the long and boring post.
I’m very Googleable, so the times I’ve seen escorts I’ve told them to just Google my name. I think only one (out of four that I’ve seen) has ever done the call-the-office screening thing.
I do have a blog that gives some insight into my personality, but I’m not sure that any of them actually read it.
References ARE reviews — basically. Two things I’d like to point out.
The first is that references are only as good as the person providing them. There are providers I’ll accept references from and providers I will not — based on my opinion of her reliability and professionalism. Basically, is her word to be trusted or not?
Screening services are to be viewed the same way. Are they trustworthy or not? How are their systems set up? (For the record, I am on P411 because I know Gina and she has a very good reputation.) Not all screening services are created equal, that’s for sure!
Secondly, some gents need to realize that very few escorts are going to discuss sex about a client to someone asking for a reference. It’s really NOT our biggest concern, believe it or not. We’re far mor concerned with your safety, reliability or if you’re a gentleman. I can recall only one instance where a lady asked for a reference mentioned he was well-endowed. And that was it (yes, he was). I’m a big girl, I can figure out the rest on my own when I meet him. Not only is discussing sex/money in the same conversation legally risky, it’s also a lot more fun to find things out in person. (References between BDSM providers probably requires a discussion of habits and preferences.)
I feel that sexually-explicit, publicly-posted reviews generally are very legally compromising for US escorts and would be just as compromising for US clients. Private references given between providers is the best way to go. This might sound protectionist of the client but since they’re the ones who support me, I’m quite in favor of not putting them at risk. (But since I’m at more risk than they, I insist on screening or solid references.)
XX
Thanks for the comments, guys. Interesting viewpoints. I’ll have a bit more to say on this in a couple of days when I get home, but everyone’s had some unique things to say, some of which I hadn’t considered.
Carry on.
I think you should look at http://www.adultwork.com a UK website (with a US section) where escorts and clients rate each other, and where the client can also complete a profile if they wish. The rating system seems to work well for both clients and escorts.
John
I don’t have a “Client” website, but have begun blogging about my experiences. I think taking time to read through what I have been writing will given any escort, courtesan or person I’m communicating with an insight into who I am, what I like and what I will be like in an encounter.
I believe you’re right.
“I think taking time to read through what I have been writing”
That’s the kicker. :) I suspect that a lot of ladies DON’T take the time to read what a prospective client posts, whether that’s on a profile on a system like P411 or in a blog. Or, in some cases, even read what the prospective client posts in discussion forums on major boards or the reviews he writes. I can recall only a couple of ladies I’ve seen in the past several years who indicated that they had done such “research” before seeing me. (Or maybe I just never heard back from those who had researched me. :) )
For a lot of the ladies, that’s understandable. Absent something that is much more focused, and reliable, it could take hours to effectively research a single guy. Many ladies won’t be able to afford the time to do such research on every prospective client. Others may simply not care — only concerned that he’s not LE or a dangerous psycho or liable to short the envelope.
I suspect that a lot of ladies DON’T take the time to read what a prospective client posts,
I’d be inclined to agree with you.
(Or maybe I just never heard back from those who had researched me. :) )
I’m glad you said that because I would have. Jokingly, of course.
I agree with your points, though.
I’ve gotten away from the habit of just tossing out a set-up and letting someone complete the joke. So many people either miss the opportunity entirely or avoid completing it because they aren’t sure I was deliberately setting myself up for it and are afraid of offending. But I should have been more confident it would have been handled appropriately here.
I have done this. It almost worked.
I used the profile feature within P411 at first, however, once companions have an ID, they can check back to monitor activities, if in a limited sense (e.g., whom a client might later see, changes to a profile, etc). This happened after I had moved on and was uncomfortable. I wanted to limit who might see what, and when. A random/hidden wordpress blog with password-protected posts was a better solution.
The blog was very useful for communicating elements of an encounter that one would not want in an email between client and companion. While that added layer of insulation can be easily broken, it is better than email. It becomes easier for a companion to make a more detailed shopping list. One can be explicit (tastefully, of course) on a wider range of topics with less concern for the discussion being connected directly back to the client. And with less concern for implicating the companion as a prostitute in the minds of the overzealous if either of us were compromised. Not zero concern for either. Less concern for both, if done right.
The blog became one way for making myself and my desires known while limiting visibility, at least to some degree, assuming the companion is discreet. A year-long series of multi-day encounters running well into five figures with a companion involves a significant amount of time just getting to know one another before any serious exploration is possible. Theoretically, the more she knows in advance, the less non-productive time I pay for. Note that I did not say that I expected to pay less; only that the time that I pay for would be more satisfying.
Practically, the concept failed. I could not devote enough time to round out the fiction. Without a large enough body of writing, my companion could not make the leap from the desires I could communicate to the desires that I could not. It takes significant time and effort on her part to read and to consider; to find the themes and patterns that I myself do not see. I hoped for her to have the “ahh-haa…” moment that would mark the beginning of her knowing more about me than I know about myself. The experiences beyond that turning point would (I thought) tend towards peak experiences: unusually satisfying for no reason I could explain. And perhaps for no reason she could explain other than as a product of raw intuition. The experience would feel as though she understood how to fulfill my deepest desires in ways that I could not myself comprehend. A loose analogy might be: the experience an unsophisticated person might have upon meeting a savvy marketeer and discovering all that he or she did not know about human psychology. Even surprise awareness would not substitute for the deep intuition of one who has long studied and practiced.
Without enough fiction to go on, there was not as much “interaction” as I anticipated, e.g., comments like “what did you mean by this?” or “I would really enjoy that” or “I just wouldn’t be interested in that.” The resulting encounters were satisfying on a literal and superficial level. I would say these limitations resulted from two sources, one being the companions’ inability or unwillingness to engage the adventure; the second being my unwillingness to devote enough time in creating enough content to make a difference in the outcome.
A wry wit might warble, why not just talk to her about what you want? Great idea. The answer is obvious, but to be explicit: because so far the result has been literal and superficial. The experience becomes little more than “sure, I can do that for you.” That just isn’t worth paying for. If you still don’t understand what I am saying, not to worry; so far, no woman has even tried to undertake the journey, at any price level, though I think I have been reasonably clear about what I think that journey involves. The fault is surely mine but I am not able to see the solution.
Taking “the illusion” to it’s logical conclusion means having the physical, emotional, and psychological content of real encounters be indistinguishable in the mind of the client from the fantasies that led to those encounters. Communication at a literal level won’t get it done. A body of writing could be an effective tool for reaching deeper into each other’s ’sexual psyche’. My attempt to beat the odds against finding the 1-in-10,000 companion I am looking for, failed, and I have given up trying. That doesn’t mean it won’t work. Only that I couldn’t make it work with the companions I chose.
If someone else tries it, I hope you fare much better.