Have you ever been on a blind date? Do you recall how tentative you were; how…maybe even scared you were about the meeting? Imagine going through that each and every time you go out, several times per week, and knowing that every date was almost invariably going to become very intimate within a few minutes of you showing up. That gives you some idea of what escorts go through every time they show up to meet a new client (or a client shows up to meet her).
The initial meeting with a new client is always, always the most stressful part of the encounter for me (and I’d assume other escorts as well). I knock on the door not knowing what is on the other side. And though I go to great lengths to ensure I don’t get caught up in a law enforcement sting, there’s no guarantee that once I pick up the envelope containing my fee that I won’t be set upon by a half dozen police officers that feel they have to physically throw me to the floor in order to effectuate an arrest (versus, you know, just stating the obvious and putting cuffs on me). Yeah, I’ve been watching too many cops shows. 
There’s also no guarantee that, even though the booking is with one person, there’s not a room full of men who have anything but compensating me for my time in mind. There’s no guarantee that the client won’t be drunk or high; no guarantee that he won’t be an asshole; no guarantee that he’s not another Philip Markoff looking for his next victim.
So you can imagine how anxious I might be when I go to a new client’s hotel room, house, or office for that first meeting.
And when I walk in the door, do I hug him? Kiss him? Shake his hand? What does he want me to do? I have to try to read him (her/them) within an instant of walking through the door, based largely on how he approaches me. For many guys, especially those seeking a “girlfriend experience,” they expect a full, deep French kiss when I walk in the door. After all, if I really was his girlfriend, that’s what he’d likely be getting, right?
I have one client who wants me to drop to my knees and begin sucking cock the instant I walk in the door. I’ll do that with regular clients, after I develop a relationship with them and know they’re not going to be ripping me off. And, you know, now that I say that, in all actuality, I’ve yet to have anyone even appear as though they were going to rip me off. I’ve been pretty lucky in that respect, though I attribute much of that to my screening process.
I was wondering if it’d be any different while I was on tour, since the clients would be coming to me. Would I feel more in control? I do. Would I feel less awkward about it? Not really. I don’t ever feel scared about meeting anyone. After all, if I did, I shouldn’t be seeing that person to begin with, in my opinion. But up until the point where I walk in and get a sense of “everything seems normal,” I just have a weird feeling in my gut. 1
Once I arrive to meet a client and that door closes behind me, anything goes. Some guys want to get right down to the fucking. Others want to talk for a bit in an attempt to get to know one another, or to catch up if he’s a regular. Most fall into the second category, thankfully. I hate going right into sex cold (though I do entertain a fantasy of walking into a client’s room, being immediately slapped to the ground, bound, and roughly fucked for an hour, only to be left by him, with my payment and a nice tip left on the counter for me, but that’s another story altogether.). Almost invariably those who want that are those who book one-hour appointments. I’ll only book those on special occasions, and never with a new client. I prefer the two-hour minimums because it allows for a much more relaxed session.
You’d be surprised how quickly an hour goes by when you’re fucking someone. By the time you subtract my trip to the bathroom to ensure my fee is there and freshen up, we get out of our clothes, get situated on the bed, couch, or wherever, and get down to business, several minutes have gone by. And most of my clients will last a while (especially those on medication assist), so there’s really only time for one shot before we’re done. And while I’m not a clock watcher, I won’t allow a one-hour appointment to come anywhere near two hours. I’ve had a couple do that to me and I don’t appreciate it.
Most of my clients show genuine concern for whether or not I am sexually satisfied during our encounters. For many, it is nearly impossible to break out of that mindset and put themselves in a place where they can indulge their fantasy of allowing me to fuck them however they wish to be fucked (others aren’t encumbered with this problem). That often results in performance anxiety on their part. And while I appreciate their concern, they’re paying me to do them – to make their fantasy sex a reality, not to entertain my own sexual fantasies (which is not to say I don’t, but that’s not why I’m there).
For example, one of my clients is a guy who’s spent the better part of his 20 year marriage sexually pleasing his wife, always making sure she comes first (and if she doesn’t, he feels obligated not to in some cases). Once she did, she’d suck his cock and fuck him vaginally until he cums. That’s all they’ve done for 20 years. Nothing exciting or exploratory – no cumming in her mouth, no facials, no anal, no…anything other than simple oral and vaginal. So he brings all of that baggage to a session with me – this mindset that he has to (needs to?) get her off before he can feel comfortable allowing himself to cum.
So when I tell him to just sit back and let me do him, at first, he had issues concentrating. He was concerned that I hadn’t gotten off (and I hadn’t, yet. We just hadn’t gotten that far). So it took some time and patience to get him to the point where he could just sit back, let me put his cock in my throat and get him off without those feelings of guilt. I’ve referred him to several other providers I know, and in every case he’s been unable to get off on his first appointment with them. Sexual psychology is interesting, much.
I have a few clients with some unique “requirements” as well. One guy prefers to wait until I arrive to take a shower. Another can only come when he’s fucking me doggy style. Another has an innate fear of pussy, so he made it crystal clear from the outset that he wasn’t going to go down on me (that’s fine, really!).
I have quite a few who want to experiment with face/throat fucking and just can’t push themselves to do it seriously; they don’t want to hurt me. Understandable, even laudable. I have to explain to them that they really can pound away as if they were doing my cunt if they’d like to. I have a couple who don’t want to kiss at all (that’s not terribly uncommon, in fact). I have one who wants me to vocalize a specific set of words at a specific point in the sex so that he can get off (it’s worked every time). I have one that wants me in a specific set of lingerie. Hey, it’s hard keeping track of who’s got which proclivities.
So all of this manifests itself in a little awkward dance that we go through on each appointment when I see a new client. As they come back to visit me, we get more comfortable and more relaxed, and I learn their little peculiarities. For that one guy, I’ll show up wearing nothing but a coat and as soon as I’m in the door, I’ll remove the coat, drop to my knees and fuck his cock with my mouth until he cums. Then we spend a bit of time chatting and catching upon things, then go back to fucking until he’s done. I’ll collect my fee, clean up, and head out the door, kissing him a nice, deep French kiss before I leave.
If you’re a client, or potential client, is there anything I’d have to do unique for you in order to get you off? If you’re a provider, do you have any, uh, unique client requirements you’d like to share? These things interest me, from a couple of perspectives, not the least of which is just the random things that come together to cause us to function sexually on an individual basis.
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It’s interesting that you still feel awkwardness whenever you meet a new client. I suppose it’s because not every situation is the same. Actors often have nerves before a performance, even though they’ve been working for years. I always used to experience nerves when I played music live even after doing it for years. Of course the possibility of danger didn’t come up (though I had some experiences of violent or potentially violent gigs), so it’s maybe not a fair comparison. Funny thing, the human brain and the way it creates these contradictory feelings.
I wonder if the clients who don’t kiss associate it with love – they kiss their wives/girlfriends. It would signify a betrayal which would not apply to fucking, oral, anal, etc. Kissing is perhaps the most emotionally intimate physical exchange.
I wonder if the clients who don’t kiss associate it with love – they kiss their wives/girlfriends. … Kissing is perhaps the most emotionally intimate physical exchange.
You’re exactly right. Some people consider kissing even more intimate than intercourse itself, primarily because your face, being you most personal space, is right there with someone else. There are many escorts who won’t kiss clients, in fact, largely for that very reason.
I’m one of those guys who takes a great interest in making sure that my “date” is having as much fun as I am. This is because my wife never let me please her orally or manually, she only wanted to fuck and didn’t want to be touched otherwise. This was very difficult for me to deal with as I really like to please a woman. So, no duh, after 10 years of marriage, I started seeing escorts.
I’m really into the whole “Girlfriend Experience” (loved the movie with Sasha Grey – did you see it?), but I find that I usually will go with whatever makes my date the most comfortable because I’ve found that the more comfortable she is, the better it will be for me. Some of my escorts have immediately wanted to start kissing and making out, while others want to sit and have a chat first. I’m happy either way – I’m just glad to be there
However, there was one experience I had several years ago where I went down on my date and she was enjoying herself so I just kept going and all the sudden she said my time was up. I was like “What about me?” and she said that she thought since I seemed to be enjoying myself so much, she thought that was all I wanted. I assured her that was not all I wanted, but it was too late. Taught me two lessons – communicate my desires, and yes, please my partner, but make sure I get taken care of too!
“Girlfriend Experience” (loved the movie with Sasha Grey – did you see it?),
I did see it (and in fact posted a review of it a few posts back). It wasn’t very realistic in my opinion. Or maybe it’d be more correct to say it didn’t address the subject in enough depth to show the reality.
Some of my escorts have immediately wanted to start kissing and making out, while others want to sit and have a chat first. I’m happy either way – I’m just glad to be there
Understood. It’s a bit interesting to try to negotiate that without coming right out and asking, “Hey, you wanna go ahead and fuck, or do you want to sit around and chat for a bit first?”
one experience I had several years ago where I went down on my date and she was enjoying herself so I just kept going and all the sudden she said my time was up.
There are clients who book escorts purely for the purpose of pleasing a woman and that’s it. So she may not have given much thought to it. Of course, if it had been me, there’s no way I’d have left the guy hanging. That’s just not my style.
Thanks for sharing this information. It’s true, it’s a very awkward little dance. I’m a little unconventional in that I insist on meeting them publicly first, to make sure we’re both comfortable with each other. It goes a long way to ensure that I’m not meeting someone privately that I don’t feel comfortable with, and it puts them at ease too. It’s just my thing.
I haven’t met anyone who was medically enhanced or assisted – yet. I too have experienced that most men who I see are very good at pleasing their partner – it’s important to them, and I always appreciate it. And I do want to chat, have a drink, whatever for a little bit before getting into the naked parts. It’s more natural that way and I like it.
I’m a little unconventional in that I insist on meeting them publicly first, to make sure we’re both comfortable with each other. It goes a long way to ensure that I’m not meeting someone privately that I don’t feel comfortable with, and it puts them at ease too. It’s just my thing.
And that’s a good thing, IMO. I have no problem doing that if the client requests it, either. Of course, that eats into the time they’ve paid for.
I haven’t met anyone who was medically enhanced or assisted
You’ve never had a client who was using Viagra or one of those drugs?
On the client side, I also have that awkward moment the first time I see a provider. Most of the women I have seen have beautiful, professional photos and blurred or non existent faces. I’m always a little anxious at first about how they look in person. I’m also anxious about the in-person chemistry.
Prior to the appointment, most of the communication tends to be via email, which is an impairment all by itself. It’s easy to sound like one thing in email and be another in person (both for better and for worse). I try to select providers that I think I may want to see on a regular basis, so there is some of the regular date jitters over “will I want to see her again?”.
Like one of the earlier comments, it is important to me that my date enjoy herself as well. That being said, in a first session, I try to gauge if I think the enjoyment on her part is genuine or not. Just as you have to size up the client right away, I often have to size up the provider.
As for special requirements, I have only one, and that is that the provider not hold back.
Most of the women I have seen have beautiful, professional photos and blurred or non existent faces. I’m always a little anxious at first about how they look in person.
Very understandable. Sadly, with this business being largely illegal if done incorrectly, and the stigma attached to being an escort, there’s not much else that can be done.
I appreciate your perspective – thanks for sharing that.
Everytime I meet with a new client- I am nervous. I don’t know why, but even at the nicest hotels in SF, I am worried someone is going to stop me and ask me what I am doing there. No one has even given me a strange look because I am usually dressed fine and don’t cause a scene.
Once the date begins there is usually some worry about if I should make the first move or not. But generally, I have been lucky and have clicked with my dates quickly.
I do wish more of my dates would open up and ask for things they want. But, I am sure most of them are thinking for some reason I would say “no” to them.
Turning them on, trying new things together and letting them experience new things is exciting for me!!! That is why I love doing what I am doing! Oh and I don’t mind the men that want to focus on me…that is always nice!
even at the nicest hotels in SF, I am worried someone is going to stop me and ask me what I am doing there.
OMG, I have that same fear, especially when you show up at the same hotels over and over. I’m surprised the folks at the big Marriott haven’t banned me from their property yet.
And I always wonder when I check into my own hotels if the person checking me in can tell why I’m there. I know they can’t, but you just always have this air of having to look over your shoulder and wondering if anyone can tell. Of course, I spend a lot of time watching other women and wondering if they, too, are working.
I do wish more of my dates would open up and ask for things they want. But, I am sure most of them are thinking for some reason I would say “no” to them.
One thing I do with a new client is explain to them my “rules of engagement.” I did a post on that some time ago if you want to read it, but basically i just outline what I specifically won’t do, and tell them that anything else is fair game. I give them a safeword so that if they do cross a line (as in maybe something I hadn’t anticipated), I can let them know, but otherwise let them do what they want to do however they want to do it. That has worked well for me. Doing that lets them know what’s out of bounds right off the bat and that they’re free to try anything else they might wish to.
Turning them on, trying new things together and letting them experience new things is exciting for me!!!
Gosh, yes. One of my favorite things in the world to hear a client say is, “I’ve never had anyone do that to me before.”
“Most of my clients show genuine concern for whether or not I am sexually satisfied during our encounters. For many, it is nearly impossible to break out of that mindset and put themselves in a place where they can indulge their fantasy of allowing me to fuck them however they wish to be fucked”
That’s me, but I tend to choose escorts that I think will have the same mindset. Those that I believe will WANT to enjoy themselves in my company. I don’t think it’s ego, I think it’s more an etiquette thing (or maybe it just marks me as a child of the 50s), but it’s important for me to belive that when I leave the escort will think, “nice guy, that was fun, I’d like to see him again”.
… or at least that’s how I’ve always have been up to now. Maybe I need to break my mold and become more hedonistic in my encounters with escorts. I’m not sure I will have a better time if I do, but a few experiments are called for I think.
Well, I do think you should work it out so you get what you’d like, and if that includes making sure she’s satisfied, then so much the better.
Your initial encounters with your clients in many ways is similar to my initial contact as a media sales person. You literally must size them up in 60 seconds or less and sort of morph into their world. Once that is done, then the consult goes much more smoothly.
I had this smirk and grin when you talk about your ideosyncracies with your respective clients. Each and everyone my clients have their own unique needs, wants , and desires. Only I satiate their demands with tickets to ball games, gift certificates to restaurants, et al. There is just an amazing correlation with “the dance”.
You’re right, of course, the correlation is there. I do think it’s a bit more…what’s the word I want…intense, maybe, when you know you’re going to be fucking the person you’re meeting.
Interesting perspective. Thanks for that.
I love this topic, but the one part you didn’t emphasize enough is that unlike a blind date, where you hope for sex, the fact is that despite any and all disclaimers, when someone comes to see you, they expect sex.
That being said, I think your analysis and critique is dead-on, and find the variation of client issues to be interesting–especially since they echo some of my own experiences–though I have never been afraid of pussy and absolutely adore performing cunnilingus (but that’s another topic–I’ve written about it on my blog at length).
I love this topic, but the one part you didn’t emphasize enough is that unlike a blind date, where you hope for sex, the fact is that despite any and all disclaimers, when someone comes to see you, they expect sex.
I think I emphasized it enough, actually. And, although it is rather limited in its frequency of occurrence, there are appointments that don’t involve sex at all.
I have never been afraid of pussy and absolutely adore performing cunnilingus
I’m always terrified of meeting someone I know either as my date or while on a date. In Australia it’s not illegal but my real work is in a fairly small community and it would marr me professionally for life.
A lot of my dates have seemed suprised by what I am willing to allow, given that I have fairly strict rules about natural oral. Like some providers feel about kissing, that’s one thing I keep to myself. But you want me to dress up like nun, spank you and have you cum on my breasts? Bring it on. I just wish they’d ask for that instead of making me guess or alluding in the vaguest terms.
I’ve had a lot of specific clothes requirements, though a lot of those are in the form of negatives, as in ‘I prefer when you don’t wear X’. Or the client who needs humiliation to get off. Or the client who can only climax when I wear a fur coat. Gosh, I thought I was so vanilla:)
I’m always terrified of meeting someone I know either as my date or while on a date.
Ha! I bet. That is one distinct advantage I have right now – I am working on the opposite coast from where my family and friends are. But I’ve had several women contact me about becoming escorts and that is always one of the things that they bring up.
I just wish they’d ask for that instead of making me guess or alluding in the vaguest terms.
Yep, obviously, you’re not the first person here to say that. I’ll include that point in the piece on etiquette for clients that I am writing.
Thanks for stopping by.
For new dates maybe the friendly (non-sexual) chat should precede the envelope review for about 10 minutes (so what if the appointment is 70 minutes) which gives you time to size up the environment and the new date. It gives you the option of walking out if worried. Better a no-pay trip than a bad trip. You can also check out the place a bit (“how how nice the closets and bath are”) before THE subject is raised (or IT is raised).
Personally I like a friendly chat before we get all serious.
I think most escorts are not really clock watchers (those working the lower ends with agencies tend to be a lot more particular about the specific times). So I don’t know that adding an additional 10 minutes to the front end of the appointment would make that much difference.
p.s. ever consider running a tape recorder in your purse – just in case. avoids “he said, she said” disputes.
No. I’d never do that. I won’t take recording devices, including recorders and cameras into an appointment with me. One thing my clients expect is discretion, and if they found out I had a recording device with me, I’d lose that trust factor, especially if they elected to post that fact on a review board somewhere. If I were a client and found such a device, I’d actually assume that she intended to use it to extort money from me. Not good at all. Situations like a he said/she said kind of thing are, thankfully, very rare.
I have to try to read him (her/them) within an instant of walking through the door, based largely on how he approaches me.
It’s a classic art, that of gauging a person in an instant. Certain professions almost by default require you to possess it. Watch how the body moves, watch the gait, watch the arms twitch, watch the fingers fumble, watch the mouth move, watch the smile, and a lot more, in barely a few eye blinks. There was a time in my life when I used to sit alone in a cafe and simply watch people passing by, look at them for a few seconds, and make an endless string of deductions. I never found out how correct my assessments were, but you’ll be surprised what you find when you search. Given then you haven’t had any terribly bad experiences (correct me if I’m wrong here), I can safely say you’re doing a good job at this
There’s no guarantee that the client won’t be drunk or high; no guarantee that he won’t be an asshole; no guarantee that he’s not another Philip Markoff looking for his next victim.
If I am allowed to be a little concerned, I will say this much: always trust your instinct. The hackneyed adage has some value. We all have a little “spider sense” of our own, and this gut feeling actually has an evolutionary basis that should not be discounted on logic alone. So hope you stay safe, I’ll drink to that.
There was a time in my life when I used to sit alone in a cafe and simply watch people passing by, look at them for a few seconds, and make an endless string of deductions. I never found out how correct my assessments were, but you’ll be surprised what you find when you search.
You’re right. I love sitting in the mall and watching people walk by. I believe I made the point in one of my posts not too long ago about being able to tell a lot about a person by how they walked, how they carried themselves, how they responded when someone said something to them.
Being able to size people up in a hurry is a talent you pick up working as a stripper, too. You’ll learn how to tell in a heartbeat whether someone’s going to spend money or not. That definitely carries over into this world.
Given then you haven’t had any terribly bad experiences (correct me if I’m wrong here),
I have not, no. *knocks on wood*
Alexa,
agree on reflection about both points. never had a clock watcher friend and you’re right about the recorder……i didn’t think about those ramifications. it would chill your future.