I‘ve been entertaining thoughts lately of going on to get my doctoral degree once I’ve completed my Masters next May. A year or so ago, I’d have peed (in a non-sexual way) on any suggestion that I’d continue going to school after I’d gotten done with my graduate degree. But given the experience of school and work over the past year or so, I think it is something I could easily put myself into.
There are three components to this decision for me. First, I have to look at the pros and cons of spending another four years in school
Pros
- More street cred with respect to what I want to do with my life, which revolves around improving the sex lives of human beings. Having a PhD, and the title “Doctor” in front of my name boosts my credibility, especially if the degree itself is in human sexuality. This would allow me more “reach,” if you will.
- I’d be a bit more marketable if I elected to seek employment or association with other organizations (though I plan to work for myself). There are some who believe that it is tougher to get a job with a PhD, though, because many employers don’t want to “pay” for someone with so much education. Since my main focus will be education, though, a PhD is an overall positive in my favor.
- More robust educational experience, never a bad thing in my book.
- It would allow me to continue to accumulate more money in savings, assuming I continue to do the work I do now.
Cons
- Four more years (+/-) of paying for school.
- Four more years of homework and coursework, much of which will be a lot more intense than what I’ve been doing.
- Having to write and defend a dissertation!!!
- Four more years of (potentially) living away from Nikki and my home in Florida.
The second part of the equation involves looking at the programs out there, and deciding where to go. There aren’t a huge number of doctoral programs with a primary focus on human sexuality in the United States. Not yet, anyway. These kinds of programs are expanding, but there’s just not the demand nor the financial resources to develop and put into place more post-graduate programs in sexuality at this point.
My evaluation of the available programs has to consider my future career goals. There are three primary tracks one could take in sexuality. The first is clinical sexology, which is the diagnosis and treatment of conditions affecting and related to human sexuality. The second involves counseling, for both couples and individuals experiencing issues revolving around their sexuality. And, finally, there’s sex education, which, of course, involves the teaching and instruction in programs involving human sexuality.
Though my undergraduate degree is in psychology, I really have no desire whatsoever to do clinical work. I like having the background knowledge regarding what makes people tick, but actually treating people is something that just doesn’t appeal to me. And, while I enjoy helping people deal with issues surrounding sex, I just don’t have the desire to build a practice around listening to people who can’t/won’t communicate with one another try to get me to help them deal with their issues. My primary interest is, and pretty much always has been teaching people about sex (since I was 15 years old). So, obviously, my preference is going to be for a program that focuses on that aspect of it.
So what programs are out there and what do they offer?
The most well-known program associated with sexuality resides at Indiana University, the home of the Kinsey Institute. They don’t have a PhD in sexuality per se, but rather offer it as a “minor” adjunct to doctorates in programs such as psychology, sociology, or anthropology. So it’d be necessary to get the PhD itself in one of those sciences. I really don’t know that I have an interest in that, but it’d sure be awesome to study in a program of such renown.
There’s the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, located here in San Francisco. They offer a “Doctorate of Human Sexuality,” but the program is too rigidly constructed around therapy, and that’s not what I’m looking for. It’s also in San Francisco, and while I like the city generally, California is not the place for me. I don’t want to be here for four more years. 
The University of Hawaii has a PhD program as well, but it is geared more toward sex counseling. Again, not what I am looking for (though it’d be awesome to live in Hawaii for four years).
Widener University, near Philadelphia, offers a PhD program that has several foci, one of which is sex education, my primary interest. In fact, their Human Sexuality Education program is the only nationally-accredited sexuality education program of its kind in the United States.
There are a variety of other programs out there that incorporate studies related to human sexuality in some form or fashion. But none include sexuality as its primary focus. So based on the information above, it would seem that Widener is easily the most suitable choice for me.
Choosing this, though, presents me with a variety of issues, some positive, some not so positive, and this involves the third leg of the triad I have to evaluate in all of this – how to pay for it all and whether to continue in my present line of employment.
First, Widener’s sexuality classes are all offered on weekends,which is intended to allow people to work and go to classes without having to take time off or squeeze late evening classes into single days. They specifically mention that a number of their students fly in to take the classes, then return home during the week. This is a viable option for me, and would allow me to live in Florida with Nikki, and commute back and forth to Philadelphia for the classes. The only disadvantage to that is flying into that festering shithole known as the Philadelphia airport. That is one of the worst airports in the country in my opinion.
And of course I have to find a way to pay for all of this. I have a good bit of money saved up from dancing and from my current profession, so I could afford to pay for the classes on the front end. Four years of graduate school at a private university will be quite expensive, though. The cost for attending Widener’s PhD program is around $12,000, plus books, supplies, etc., per semester. And of course, there’d be the costs associated with flying back and forth. Now, if JetBlue continued their “Fly All Month for $599″ special for five more years, I might be in good shape. 
I have considered continuing working as an escort during all of this. One good thing about being dual located is that I could work in both Florida and the Philadelphia area, spending maybe one week a month in the Philly area between two weekends to serve clients in that area. This would give me access to a variety of cities from Washington, DC, up to New York City as well. Obviously, I enjoy the work and I am, I think, quite good at it. And you all know there’s not many other jobs that a woman could do that would generate the kind of money I can make doing this. When I am at home in Florida I could even go back to dancing on nights when I don’t have clients (though I wouldn’t go back to dancing full time like I was before).
There’s a down side as well, though. Working in the Florida area might expose me to someone I know, compromising my identity. And, my parents live in the Philadelphia area, so I even run some small risk of having my identity compromised there as well, with the attendant risk of my parents finding out what I am doing.
If I were to go to Indiana University, Bloomington is so far out from any of the major cities that I doubt I’d be able to book enough appointments to make it financially worthwhile without having to travel to cities like Indianapolis, Chicago, Louisville, etc. The travel would take more time than I am willing to spend at this point, I think.
So, given all of the options and possibilities, it looks like my best option is going to be the Widener doctoral program, while living and working across the two areas. I have Nikki in Florida and my parents in the Philadelphia area to center my private time around, so that’d be way cool. I will likely need to find an apartment to use during my trips to Philadelphia, though, and maybe even buy a small car to use there, since Widener is a good ways away from my folks house (and I’d not feel comfortable working from there).
So that’s where I stand at this point. I’m in the process of applying to Widener and Indiana (I’d started with IU before I went through all the machinations of this evaluative examination).
I do wonder how it will impact my interaction with clients. I do know a couple of providers who have PhDs, and a couple who have JDs. Will it intimidate clients to have an appointment with someone who has a PhD in fucking? 
I’m sure you know Dr. Alexa will take good care of you, regardless. 
- Alexa’s Update # 20 As most of you know, I’ve been away from my...
- Alexa’s Update # 10 I know I’m a couple of days late on this,...
- Alexa’s Update # 14 I hope you guys had a terrific Thanksgiving. I spent...
- Alexa’s Update # 19 I apologize for the relative dearth of postings lately, but...
- Alexa’s Update # 11 Well, I got back Tuesday morning from Fort Lauderdale, as...
Email This
Print This
{ 1 trackback }
{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
I will refrain from making the obligatory Dr. Feelgood joke…
Be glad that you know what exactly what it is that you want to major (even though it might be a challenge financially). Some of us are still looking. :-|
That’s only finally come about in the last couple of years, though. When I first went into college I was a business administration major, and wanted to go into International Business. I changed majors to Psych and had to spend an extra year in undergrad.
The Widener program is actually not a PhD, it is an EdD (doctor of education) – very sex ed oriented. This is good and bad – if your goal is to be a tenure track professor, it’s not great because it isn’t a traditional PhD and some universities will look cross-eyed at it. Also, any good/reputable/worth going to PhD program will also offer some form of support to full time PhD students. You shouldn’t be paying 100% out of pocket for a PhD program, since getting the PhD (and TAing for the university) is essentially your job.
Hey, there, Dacia.
The Widener program is actually not a PhD, it is an EdD (doctor of education) – very sex ed oriented.
True, and perhaps I should’ve pointed that out. The end result is the same aside from the semantics with respect to what I want to do, though. At this point in my life, I am not of a mind to teach at a university. Obviously, that could change at some point, though.
Also, any good/reputable/worth going to PhD program will also offer some form of support to full time PhD students. You shouldn’t be paying 100% out of pocket for a PhD program, since getting the PhD (and TAing for the university) is essentially your job.
They do offer graduate assistantships(?) on a limited basis. Going that route would require me to remain on/near the campus, though, and I prefer not to do that if I can avoid it. Besides, doing what I do now would allow me to make far more than anything I’d make as a GA/TA.
You should definitely do it if you love the subject, and I think that you do.
I think you’re going to end up writing amazing books, and having a doctorate will help that immensely both in marketability and forcing you to write rigorously about the subjects.
I think you have the right approach in selecting your school. I did my Masters at a prestigious school and felt the program really suffered because it relied on the name. In retrospect I should have gone for the school that pursued me and offered a better living situation.
It sounds like you’ve made your mind up on Widener. I wonder if they might be flexible enough to allow you to take semesters off, in which you could ply your trade.
I wonder if they might be flexible enough to allow you to take semesters off, in which you could ply your trade.
I don’t know that I’d need to (or want to). If it is a weekend program with weekdays off, then I think I could easily work around that kind of schedule.
Have you thought about programs outside of the US? Since distance wise its no worse than you being on the west coast and your friends and family being on the east.. if there is a program in Europe that meets your requirements.
I have not given any consideration to program outside the U.S. Quite frankly, I have no desire to go out of country at this point for anything like that, save perhaps for Canada. The only program I know up there involves clinical work, though.
Just wanted to say, firstly, how nice it is to see someone pursuing what they are passionate about in life. Secondly, Phd or not you’ll make an excellent sex educator, I have no shame in saying that finding your blog has been the most impactful sex ed. experience I’ve had in my life. Although considering the ones that preceded it where mostly Roman Catholic: “Sex is evil unless you’re using it in marriage to make more Christian solders” it is not like I could do much worse. Most of all I just wanted to say just keep being you I’m sure your shining example will inspire more people then you will ever realize.
I have no shame in saying that finding your blog has been the most impactful sex ed. experience I’ve had in my life.
Wow, thanks for that. I’m glad you find some benefit in something I’ve posted. <3
It seems like you did some very thorough research on the matter. I personally think that Widner is your best bet. You’re closer to your friends and family, and you have the Eastern Seaboard to conduct business. I would recommend not being “active” in FL and the Philly area for the obvious reasons you mentioned above. It would be wise to fly under the radar in those regions. Whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll be just fine and I wish you the best. Thank you for your blogs, they are so full of good information and quite entertaining! Happy Birthday by the way!!! Get a spanking yet? If not, I have a paddle here at the crib that I’d love to use on that sweet behind of yours!! LOL ;o)
I would recommend not being “active” in FL and the Philly area for the obvious reasons you mentioned above.
Yeah, I’ll need to evaluate my financial situation and see what shakes out before I can make any decisions on where to work.
Widener sounds like a good choice. But I think you should apply to more than just two schools. What if you don’t get into either Widener or IU? If that happens, you might regret not keeping your options open with more schools.
I’ll regroup and try again. I think with my grades, GRE scores, recommendations, and body of work, I won’t have a problem getting into either school, actually. I hope.
Dr. Alexa, that sounds awesome
Great to know you’re going for it. An escort with a PhD sounds potent, especially when it comes to presenting credible arguments against conventional viewpoints. I feel it would do well for the escort/prostitute community on a whole; you will challenge many critics and skeptics of the profession, and you will also inspire other escorts to use the money they made (which can be significant) in pursuit of a good education.
Also, if you don’t mind me asking, what kind of employment are you pursuing after the doctorate?
An escort with a PhD sounds potent, especially when it comes to presenting credible arguments against conventional viewpoints.
Believe it or not, I wouldn’t be the first or only escort with a PhD/EdD or other advanced degree. There are many who do.
Also, if you don’t mind me asking, what kind of employment are you pursuing after the doctorate?
I’m considering a post on that specifically, though I am loathe to discuss specifics lest people be able to tie my real identity to this persona and connect the two. This is obviously something I’ve got to consider down the road when I decide to build my own business.
There are many who do.
That is an interesting fact. Goes against the grain of general perception, and it goes to show, realities can be quite different under the surface.
though I am loathe to discuss specifics lest people be able to tie my real identity to this persona and connect the two.
Completely understand where you’re coming from. Never divulge more than you need to. Apologies if I encroached onto prohibited territory.
I think you should do it, if you don’t you might regret it. I can tell you that I when I did my degree I commuted and did it all in very complex & difficult circumstances but I was absolutely bloody determind I was going to do it. Its hard work but I think its worth.
Incidently I was also told that no one wants to employ a graduate with a first class degree because they are ‘boring’ and too geeky. I kind of thought ‘fuck that, I am not boring & I’m going to get a first’ I did & I came top of my class. It just amazes me what some people will say to put you off from aiming high….
I think you should do it, if you don’t you might regret it
I can always go back and get it later, though.
Incidently I was also told that no one wants to employ a graduate with a first class degree because they are ‘boring’ and too geeky
Well, you are a geek. A gorgeous one, but a geek nonetheless.
Alexa, go for it. I have absolutely no doubt that this is right for you. You are an extremely intelligent young woman and I can promise you that if you don’t do it you will always wonder whether you turned your back on something that you shouldn’t have. As I think you know, I have a PhD in reproductive physiology and, although my current roles do not require it, I would have regretted not doing it. I also get a bit of a kick to know that my research led directly to the morning after pill! Being based in Europe I can’t comment on the various institutions, but I have lived in Indianapolis in the past and, well, I did wake up in the end.
You are an extremely intelligent young woman and I can promise you that if you don’t do it you will always wonder whether you turned your back on something that you shouldn’t have.
Well, like i replied to Titania above, I could always go back and get it. But I know people who’ve said they’d go back and got caught up in other things and let it go. I’m at a place where I feel comfortable taking that step. That may change in a year, though.
I also get a bit of a kick to know that my research led directly to the morning after pill!
That’s awesome. No telling how many abortions that has prevented. <3
I guess, the ultimate choice is between the PhD and whatever other employment options you’d have if you don’t go for it right now. And I certainly understand why you are not writing about them openly…
Either way, I know you will make the decision that is best for you, even though the process of deciding can be exhausting. Good luck!
I guess, the ultimate choice is between the PhD and whatever other employment options you’d have if you don’t go for it right now.
That’s a good point. I could start some things that I plan to start anyway, just a bit earlier than I might want to. And many of those things are what I was referring to when I mentioned having more street cred.
Good luck!
Thank you.
Rather than flying into PHL have you looked into using BWI (Baltimore Washington International) airport?
I’ve started exploring that option. Too much traffic, and BWI isn’t much better than PHL according to some. *sigh*
Here’s an alternative you may not have considered: UC Santa Cruz has a PhD. track in what is probably the world’s only History of Consciousness program (http://histcon.ucsc.edu/). Sounds slightly goofy, but people do amazing interdisciplinary things with it. You could do something with psychology, a strong dept. at UCSC (http://psych.ucsc.edu/graduate/), and perhaps education (http://education.ucsc.edu/), or even science communication (http://scicom.ucsc.edu/). They’re pretty free-wheeling about letting people design their own education — but not un-rigorous.
Santa Cruz is a killer town — the oceanside hot tubs of Esalen an hour and change in one direction, and San Francisco the same in the other, great nude beaches, music, lotsa girls who love girls — and if you continued your present work, SF and San Jose (with all its sexually frustrated tech jillionaires) are both at hand, insuring good income.
I’m guessing you missed the part about me not wanting to remain in California?
Thanks for the suggestions, but that particular course of instruction doesn’t appeal to me, AND it is in California. I don’t want to be here after grad school.
As a current psychology PhD student I’ll throw in my two cents. Based on your general statements regarding your career goals I would be skeptical regarding the need for you to get a PhD. Many practitioners are trained at the Master’s level, which is appropriate for going out and “doing”. PhD studies tend to focus more on research and advanced training in a particular area with a focus on therapy. These do not sound like the type of activities you are interested in.
That said, here are some thoughts:
1) Don’t focus solely on “human sexuality” type programs. Many individuals in other fields (such as clinical or counseling) may have interests that match yours well. Go look at journals in the field and search around or look at the volume indexes to see if any researchers are looking at topics you’re interested in. My quick search resulted in: International Journal of Sexual Health (http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~content=t792306874~db=all) and its previous title, Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, and also Sexual and Relationship Therapy (http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/title~content=t713446685~db=all). If someone’s published research matches your interests, send them an email and ask them a few questions about it to start a conversation about your educational goals.
2) Focus on programs which fund their PhD students. Email the contact person for the program and ask what percentage are funded. You want a program that funds, as good programs have money. It won’t be tons, but it will generally cover tuition and fees along with a monthly stipend. I get about $1300 a month, which isn’t much but is enough to live on. There’s a reason why people refer to graduate students as poor students.. we are. If you can’t handle this, don’t do it. Which brings me to…
3) If you get into a good program plan on not having as much time as you may be accustomed to now. You’ll fill your day with classes, teaching, and research.. and then spend the evenings on the same. This varies by programs and ambitions, but if you’re going to go the PhD route I would suggest doing the best job you can.
4) Consider research as a potential future. It’s actually pretty enjoyable to figure out ways to test your ideas. You can focus on exploring how people learn about sexuality, what methods work well, and the like. You may have some great ideas now about new ways to do things but you should test them out before you sell. That’s where research comes in.
5) Find someone who is doing something similar to what you want to do as a career. Contact him or her and get input about the career path. Nothing is more useful than talking to someone who’s already doing it. Take a look at this article (you hopefully can buy it from the site) “Identity, Training, and Expertise Among Sexual Health Professionals” http://www.informaworld.com/smpp/content~db=all~content=a912334387 . It provides a lot of information about what current professionals are doing. If you can’t get it and are interested.. I may be able to help get it.
Take a look at this program in human sexuality in Minnesota, it may fit you: http://www.phs.umn.edu/ . If you want to get into a good and competitive program you’ll need good grades in your previous studies and a high GRE score. Make sure you study up and do well on the GRE.
Hopefully all of the links and such work fine, good luck!
Based on your general statements regarding your career goals I would be skeptical regarding the need for you to get a PhD.
Need? Perhaps not. The desire is there, however, and it would still add to my credibility, regardless of what I elect to do. And while making a career of research is not something that appeals to be, the occasional study of some aspects of sexuality do hold some interest. In fact, I am not averse to including research in my portfolio of activities in general.
Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions. They’re definitely things to consider.
As for the UM program, it focuses on clinical and therapeutic aspects of sexuality, not education, which is my personal interest.
I think I can access those articles you refer to through school, so I’ll give that a shot. Thanks for that.
Good luck with whatever you decide, but know that you have at least one potential client here in Florida should you decide to return to the Sunshine State and work here part-time.
I knew you’d come by and post that, Ron.
Ha, wow. I’ve been out of the RPD loop for a little while now and I feel like I’ve missed so much!
First, I so wish I could’ve been privy to your performance in Lauderdale…I’ve never in my life even been to a strip club (though I’ve been dying to of late) and I’d have loved for you to have been the one to de-virginize me. ;)
Also, I *love* your new header. The blog in general looks great. That’s some sweet ass you have, girl.
Oh, and happy birthday (from a fellow Leo…I turned 25 on the 15th)!
Anyway, down to business. I assume you put up this post to get a little advice and hear your readers’ opinions, so I’d like to give you mine: I think you should go for it.
I’ll address your “cons” first. As far as paying for school, I’m sure that thanks to your financial savvy and especially if you continue working through school, you’ll be far ahead of most grad school students. The one thing I’d add is the possibility that you had your little nest egg saved for another possibility–perhaps capital for a business venture you might have up your sleeve. If that’s the case, I’d encourage you to weigh your PhD against the opportunity cost of that.
As for the intensity of the coursework, well, I was under the impression you liked it intense. ;)
As for writing and defending a dissertation? With all due respect…Girl, please. I think you were born to write and defend a dissertation on the subject of Human Sexuality. Hell, you’ll have that thing published in no time.
As for spending time away from Nikki and your family, it sounds like that won’t be an issue if you end up commuting to/from Widener.
Honestly, Alexa, I hope that in a few short years, you’ll have a blog post (perhaps even your last) with the same title as this one–just without the question mark. You sound as if you’re leaning in the direction of Dr. Alexa–and I’d encourage you to capitalize on that momentum; it’s easy to lose it as you get carried away with other endeavors, as pure as your intentions might be of going back.
Either way, I wish you all the best with whatever it is you choose to pursue in your future. And whatever it might be, do yourself (and the rest of the world) a favor and keep writing.
;)
~A
I’ve never in my life even been to a strip club (though I’ve been dying to of late) and I’d have loved for you to have been the one to de-virginize me. ;)
Aww, you should find one and go. I used to love dancing for women.
The one thing I’d add is the possibility that you had your little nest egg saved for another possibility–perhaps capital for a business venture you might have up your sleeve. If that’s the case, I’d encourage you to weigh your PhD against the opportunity cost of that.
That is indeed what I’m saving money for, but I think if I continue working, I’ll not only pay for school , but continue to accumulate money for those ventures.
As for the intensity of the coursework, well, I was under the impression you liked it intense. ;)
Indeed.
Honestly, Alexa, I hope that in a few short years, you’ll have a blog post (perhaps even your last) with the same title as this one–just without the question mark.
Ha! That’s a cool thought. That’d be a neat way to announce it, too.
Either way, I wish you all the best with whatever it is you choose to pursue in your future. And whatever it might be, do yourself (and the rest of the world) a favor and keep writing.
Thank you. I’ll decide about the writing part once I see how…intense the schoolin’s gonna be.
I have no expertise, no knowledge of any of the programs you’re exploring, but as a resident of these islands I feel compelled to say it would be awesome to have you living in Hawai`i for four years…
Aloha.
I sure wouldn’t mind living there, either.
What is there to sex? We’re all supposed to be dead by 40…once we are passed our reproductive prime. There’s no evolutionary purpose in sticking around. Prime directive is to get it while you can…eat, drink, and be merry…we’re all hurling toward death anyway.
I’d go back to the East coast. Cali (especially Northern California) is going through one of its cyclical slumbers in its boom and bust cycles. It’s not the hot place right now as it was in the late 90s, late 80s, or late 70s. It’ll likely come roaring back in next 5 years or so -center of the action.
I’d stay away from Filthadelphia generally. It has to be the WORST city in the US right after Detroit and Newark. DC would be nice as would NYC…though… I couldn’t imagine living in FLA. Vapid and even MORE self-absorbed than Northern California – except in the crudest of ways. Tampa, Ft. Lauderdale…hell, even Boca…puke!
I have to go where the educational programs are, though. And in this case, the primary one I’m interested in is right there near Philly. Sadly.
This is interesting as I am currently also doing my Masters Degree and have a tutor pressuring me to apply to their PhD Social Policy Research program.
I have decided against it because I can get the job I want without the PhD (plus I can’t afford another three years of study – time more than money). If you need the PhD for your job then go for it!
Good luck with the applications…..I too have considered more school for the credibility factor and think it can only help.
Thanks. Good to see a former working girl teaching about sex.