Yeah, I know she’s gotten that nasty treatment from people, and it sucks.

Ashley, if you’re reading this message right now, we want you to know that you don’t have to deal with what you’ve gone through in the past year alone. There are many people in New York City who accept escorting and other types of sex work as legitimate professions. And there are many women like yourself who have become escorts in order to provide a steady income while they have other pursuits. In your case, it’s your musical career. Other women escort to further their education. When you think of all the women in the city who are strippers, escorts, burlesque performers, dominatrixes, exhibitionists, porn-performers, and street-workers; they probably run into the hundreds of thousands. It makes you seem less alone when you think of it like that.

Unfortunately, our society makes every one of those women–including yourself–feel ashamed, alone, and less than a human being. Society feels that it has the right to mock you and make fun of you, and de-legitimize you as a person.

Well, guess what, Ashley? Society is wrong.

Society once thought that gay people were less than human, and could be made fun of. And although gay people still face discrimination in our society, great strides have been made. Gay people can now even have their relationships legally recognized in some states. Twenty years ago, this was unheard-of.

And it’s the same with sex workers. It’s going to take years for sex workers to reach the level that gay people are at right now in terms of societal acceptance. But it’s possible. Just recently a former stripper by the name of Diablo Cody won an award for best screenplay. This would have been un-heard of at one time. Perhaps, just perhaps, ten years from now, maybe even less, a former escort by the name of Ashley Dupre will win a Grammy Award for Best New Artist.

But societal acceptance isn’t something that one sex worker can do by herself, as you’re probably aware of. And because of the lack of societal acceptance for sex work, people will not forget that you did such work, or allow you to forget it. And that’s something that you’re going to have to overcome. And the best way to start overcoming this obstacle is to embrace your former (or current) profession of escort, and not feel ashamed of being what you were or who you are. You can’t change other people’s perceptions of your profession (at least not right away), but you can change your own perception of your chosen profession.

And the people who can help you through this, Ashley, are other sex workers who are working to change society’s perception of who they are, and are working to change how they feel about themselves internally as sex workers. Perhaps your lawyer has instructed you not to associate with other sex workers due to the legal bullshit that you’ve had to endure over the past year, and if that’s the case, then I hope that you can work with your lawyer to have this situation changed. Because, Ashley, if Eliot Spitzer can have a second chance, then you sure as shit deserve just as much of a second chance as he does.

There are organizations for sex workers here in New York:

http://swop-nyc.org/
http://www.urbanjustice.org/

I know people at these organizations who would be willing to meet with you. But if you don’t feel you can go that far just now, than you can still talk to Alexa. Because, Ashley, you don’t deserved to feel ashamed and alone.

Sincerely,

Susan

You conversed with Ashley Dupre? If this is true, then this is the first instance I’ve been able to find where Dupre conversed with another sex worker.

I have conversed with her casually on Twitter and on MySpace. I have intentionally avoided any conversation about the sex work part of her life, though.

That said, I can’t help but be annoyed by her constant reference to the “mistakes” she’s made. I don’t like this, because to the average person, she “must” be referring to her sex work when she says this.

While I agree with your sentiment, the treatment she’s gotten from just about everyone reinforces the belief in her mind that what she did was a “mistake.” Reading the books about her involvement in the industry (Natalie McClellan and Kristin Davis) gives the impression that she was wholly aware of what she was doing and enjoyed it. Sadly, that’s the way society treats sex workers once they’re outed. I, too, wish she’d embrace that aspect of her life and deal with it honestly.

Well, I’m not really interested in the “repentant hooker” routine, Alexa. I want her to say to us and the world this: “I am/was a sex worker, and I’m proud it. I enjoy being a sex worker, just as much as I enjoy making music. Both have been/are a part of my life.”

Quite honestly, I believe she will come to that point or something akin to it in the future.

I’m afraid that instead, Ashley is trying to erase the “sex work” aspect of her life out of existence. That is dishonest and ultimately self-defeating. Self-defeating, because she owes her fame to her sex work. But it’s also dishonest. And it’s something she’ll never be able to do.

I agree with you 100%.

Personally, I would love to write a screenplay of her life, but only in her full humanity: as a person, as a musician, and as a sex worker.
But then, I guess alot of people would love to do a screenplay about Ashley Dupre, so I would have to stand in line.

I’d like to see that happen myself, actually.

Thanks for your comments.

Anyway, I wish her well.

You conversed with Ashley Dupre? If this is true, then this is the first instance I’ve been able to find where Dupre conversed with another sex worker.

I do sympathize with Ashley in that she did not ask to become a public sex worker. She intended to escort while pursuing a career as a singer.

That said, I can’t help but be annoyed by her constant reference to the “mistakes” she’s made. I don’t like this, because to the average person, she “must” be referring to her sex work when she says this.

Well, I’m not really interested in the “repentant hooker” routine, Alexa. I want her to say to us and the world this:

“I am/was a sex worker, and I’m proud it. I enjoy being a sex worker, just as much as I enjoy making music. Both have been/are a part of my life.”

I’m afraid that instead, Ashley is trying to erase the “sex work” aspect of her life out of existence. That is dishonest and ultimately self-defeating. Self-defeating, because she owes her fame to her sex work. But it’s also dishonest. And it’s something she’ll never be able to do.

So, if you’re in contact with Ashley, Alexa, you can tell her what I wrote here; that her sex work is as integral and important as the other aspects of her life, and something not to be ashamed of. Personally, I would love to write a screenplay of her life, but only in her full humanity: as a person, as a musician, and as a sex worker.

I’m not going to acknowledge it because it isn’t accurate. I stated, “…men, women, and transpeople” just as I would have if I’d been talking about sexual orientation and said, “heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.” I recognize gender as a continuum and was acknowledging the entire continuum in as few words as I could.

What I suggested to Renegade Evolution a while back was simply, “men and women, cis or trans,” although that doesn’t acknowledge people who don’t identify outside the binary – but then, I’m not sure why I should be doing homework for you, either.

In other words, you don’t have a clue, either. I find it interesting that you can’t even decide for yourself what words to use, yet you’ll come in here and criticize ME for not using the appropriate words. That takes some intestinal fortitude, I’ll give you that much.

But here’s a little bit more: being trans isn’t a separate category from being a man or a woman. It relates how one might experience being a man or a woman, but doesn’t automatically remove any person to a third space that is neither man nor woman.

I love how you defeat your own point with this statement. You claim it isn’t a separate category, yet your argument favors the gender binary (both in this statement and what you suggested to Ren, actually). It either is a binary or it isn’t. If it isn’t, then why use binary terms at all?

I phrased what I wrote based on the way it is commonly done by other writers. FWIW, I don’t even believe in the concept of binary gender constructions, but I’d bet my ass that Spitzer does, and the letter was written to him specifically. And you have the nerve to come in and make this about you? *rolls eyes*