In case you haven’t heard, Eliot Spitzer is back in the public limelight. I guess he feels it’s “safe” to come out of hiding now that the furor over his being caught with his zipper down has subsided. Apparently, that extends to his family as well – he says he’s been “forgiven” by his wife and his family. He’s even writing a column on Slate.
Ashley DupreW never really went into hiding. Of course, she stayed out of the public eye for the first few months that Spitzer’s shenanigans were being bandied about in the media. But shortly thereafter, she was seen out in public with her mother, popping up here and there at different functions. She’s working on an album to be released later this year, following the dream that originally took her to New York City.
She was never arrested or prosecuted for her involvement with the escort service that catered to Mr. Spitzer’s desires, fortunately (and unusually). She’s also writing a bit, for those who are interested in her words. I’ve had the pleasure of conversing with on her Twitter and on MySpace, and she’s an absolute sweetheart. I wish her all the best with her new album and wherever her life takes her.
So, Mr, Spitzer,
Now that you have a new public platform, you know what I’d like to see? I’d like you to write about why you believe prostitution should remain illegal. I’d say “if you believe…” but you’re a politician. And once a politician, always a politician. I know you can’t come out and advocate making it legal. That would likely piss off your wife and many others who associate with you. And, besides, you know politicians rarely believe they should live by the laws they pass (See: U. S. Congress or any other legislative body in the country). Those silly things are for other people to follow (See: hypocrite).
And when you write about it, I’d like you to forgo the straw arguments like keeping it illegal because of the “trafficking” of people into the sex industry. The overwhelming majority of sex workers enter the industry of their own volition and are not coerced or “trafficked” into it. So that is not a legitimate reason to arrest and prosecute the tens of thousands of men, women, and transpeople who engage in the work every year, thereby preventing them from ever being able to get any other job, forcing them to go back into sex work, perpetuating an endless cycle. A great many people are “trafficked” into working on farms, but I have yet to see you (or anyone else for that matter) advocate making that type of work illegal. There’s something else afoot with prostitution, and we all know what it is. It’s because it involves that “s” word.
And spare us the platitudes about not wanting sex commercialized or commoditized. Anyone who knows how the majority of relationships work in this world knows that sex is commercialized almost by default. And a few minutes in front of a television will demonstrate to anyone paying attention that sex is already commoditized as well. There’s an old saying that “We all pay for sex one way or another; hookers are just more honest about it.” Indeed.
And spare us the other, tired, unproven assertions of it “harming women” (consensual sex work doesn’t), “spreading disease” (it doesn’t – non-street hookers are huge practitioners of safe sex, and have a much lower incidence of STIs than the general public), “promoting additional criminal activity” (it only does this because what we do is illegal, forcing everything into the underground).
And, finally, leave out the issue of morality. The government has no business deciding for me what kind of moral code I live by, so long as I don’t harm anyone else. And I can assure you, in that every session I’ve been a part of, the diametric opposite of harm was the end result. 
Why again should the private, consensual sexual conduct between two individuals, even if it involves the exchange of money, be criminalized? Why is it okay for me to go over to someone’s house and fix their computer or create artwork for them for a fee, yet if I decide to use another part of my body (you know, my hands, mouth, vagina, boobs, or even my anus) to do something for them, it instantly becomes illegal?
Why should it okay for you to do it, but not anyone else? And, of course, I mean that in the context of before you got caught, since I know you’d say it isn’t okay now. You’re only saying it now of course because you were exposed (no pun intended).
I want you…I’m asking you to use your new platform, Slate, to explain to the world why consensual prostitution should remain illegal, and I want you to do it without parroting the standard lines that every politician uses when they rant and rave about whores being the scourge of society. You’re a bright guy. I’d like to see you actually articulate a sound, legitimate reason for it. I don’t think it can be done.
I will even offer you a carrot. If you can do it, I’ll pay you $4,300.00 of my own money for the hour or so it’d take you to write it. Or would that be illegal? 
I anxiously await your response. Thank you for your time, sir.
Regards,
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Excellent read darlin…you should email Mr. Spitzer the link to your blog :)
Post-California, I think this is what you should do. Fight for sex workers. You have some of the most intelligent arguments I’ve ever heard regarding the subject and I think you should pursue this. Porn was eventually made legal (mostly) and I think you could crack a big hole in the “sex-work-is-bad” myth. Think about it. It always starts with one person.
BTW, put this in one of his Slate blog comments.
Where’s that smiley that’s clapping? That’s the one I want right here. Very well said! How about using this as an editorial in a newspaper?
I agree with all of the above comments – keep up the good work Alexa!
Excellent! Another great blog. Reading this makes it seem like legalization could happen tomorrow…such absurdity in this world.
Alexa, I would love to see his reply back to you, if ever that happens.
As a writer, it should not be illegal to take your 4300. because journalism is a legal occupation. As is paparazzi, which I find causes much more harm (ie. Princess Diana and such cases) then a sex worker and is creepier at times.
I back you 100% in this argument for Sex workers and the industries and the benefits that come from it.
Good stuff Alexa. You make a very solid and well articulated argument and I couldn’t agree with you more. Americans are criminalized for far too many things that are nonviolent and do not harm other people (i.e. marijuana use, prostitution, peer to peer file sharing, underage drinking…) The amount of money spent trying to regulate these things and the amount of time they take up in our courts is absurd. Continue fighting the good fight, I look forward to your next post.
See my blog entry discussing some of these laws that “criminalize” so many people.
http://bean33.blogspot.com/2009/04/unjust-law-is-no-law-at-all.html
I don’t know how I feel about Ashley after reading the side of her she showed with Natalia. My assumption is that if that was a lie, she would have sued Natalia for libel by now. I read her writing and do see she’s changed, but that portrayal of her in that book really left a bad taste in my mouth. It’s my damage though, she does seem like a lovely person now.
From Elliot’s home state of NewYork:
As you know, there is a vast difference between Upstate New York and that City – which many up here in the beautiful Finger Lakes Region believe that the City should be considered a District similar to D.C. Do you feel this is a state’s rights issue or Federal? I feel most poluticrats would consider it an individual state referendum similar to the well publicized Proposition of your state. Your efforts do not go unnoticed. We too feel that it’s amazing Spitzer is back on the circuit getting his speaking fees.
Syndee, I just might do that.
Brilliance,
Post-California, I think this is what you should do. Fight for sex workers.
I’m not quite sure what arc my life is going to take post California. I know what I’ve planned to do, and it doesn’t generally involve fighting for sex workers rights, but there are things in the works that might change the trajectory a bit.
Thank you for the compliments.
Mike,
Alexa, I would love to see his reply back to you, if ever that happens.
Definitely.
As a writer, it should not be illegal to take your 4300. because journalism is a legal occupation.
That was sarcasm, and a play against the amount of money he paid Ashley for an hour’s worth of her time.
Missy,
I don’t know how I feel about Ashley after reading the side of her she showed with Natalia.
Keep in mind that much of what Natalie wrote came from her life while coked up and to sell books. I
My assumption is that if that was a lie, she would have sued Natalia for libel by now.
I doubt it, actually. She seems content to just leave all of it behind her and move on with her life. I would assume that she knows she can’t control what people say about her or what happened, and it’d be a waste of time and money to try fight an unwinnable battle.
I am content to evaluate her on the way she presents herself now.
K4,
Do you feel this is a state’s rights issue or Federal? I feel most poluticrats would consider it an individual state referendum similar to the well publicized Proposition of your state.
I’d agree, it is a state issue. Federal law doesn’t deal with prostitution directly (aside from the Mann Act), and we sure don’t need the fed involved with it.
Austin, I’m inclined to agree with you on this like most drug use and prostitution, not so sure about the drinking age. When they up’ed the drinking age, alcohol-related deaths on the highway went WAY down. Unfortunately, young people can’t be trusted to drink responsibly, so they ended up losing the privilege. You say that we can drive at that age, and yes, we can. Not too long ago, you could drive in most states at 16, but lately the trend has been to restrict that, and it has resulted in lower accident rates. There’s something to be said for maturity on some things.
P2P file sharing should remain illegal. The folks who produce software and music deserve to be paid for their efforts, IMO.
Speed limits, well, I know Montana had no speed limit on their interstates for a long while, but I don’t recall what kind of fatality stats they had before and after, so I can’t comment on it intelligently. My initial inclination is to favor limits on speed, since, as you point out, one of its intended purposes is to keep everyone going roughly the same speed. Unrestricted speed would result in a much greater disparity than what we see now, IMO = dangerous.
Thanks for your comment.
Stephanie, Chase, and Naughty, thanks for your comments.
Good post, but most trans people are men and women themselves.
Isn’t there a better way to refer to trans people without placing them all outside the category of “men and women?”
Lisa,
Isn’t there a better way to refer to trans people without placing them all outside the category of “men and women?”
What would you suggest? Writers get criticized for leaving them out if they don’t refer to transpeople, and now we’re being criticized for including them. It would seem to be a no-win situation.
So how do you suggest we include those who are transgendered?
I recommend this post at Bound Not Gagged. Good comment section too.
http://deepthroated.wordpress.com/2009/03/16/third-gendering/
CBT, I actually responded on that thread a couple of times myself. It was a bit too…militant, actually, in some ways.
EDIT: If you wish to continue commenting on this thread, make comments about this thread, and not what’s going on at BnG.
I like this silly idea that it’s involuntary thirdgendering or invisibility.
How about the post at Bound, Not Gagged?
I didn’t criticize you for including trans people in your post. I criticized you for othering trans people in your post. I would like that distinction to be acknowledged.
What I suggested to Renegade Evolution a while back was simply, “men and women, cis or trans,” although that doesn’t acknowledge people who don’t identify outside the binary – but then, I’m not sure why I should be doing homework for you, either.
But here’s a little bit more: being trans isn’t a separate category from being a man or a woman. It relates how one might experience being a man or a woman, but doesn’t automatically remove any person to a third space that is neither man nor woman.
I didn’t criticize you for including trans people in your post. I criticized you for othering trans people in your post. I would like that distinction to be acknowledged.
I’m not going to acknowledge it because it isn’t accurate. I stated, “…men, women, and transpeople” just as I would have if I’d been talking about sexual orientation and said, “heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual.” I recognize gender as a continuum and was acknowledging the entire continuum in as few words as I could.
What I suggested to Renegade Evolution a while back was simply, “men and women, cis or trans,” although that doesn’t acknowledge people who don’t identify outside the binary – but then, I’m not sure why I should be doing homework for you, either.
In other words, you don’t have a clue, either. I find it interesting that you can’t even decide for yourself what words to use, yet you’ll come in here and criticize ME for not using the appropriate words. That takes some intestinal fortitude, I’ll give you that much.
But here’s a little bit more: being trans isn’t a separate category from being a man or a woman. It relates how one might experience being a man or a woman, but doesn’t automatically remove any person to a third space that is neither man nor woman.
I love how you defeat your own point with this statement. You claim it isn’t a separate category, yet your argument favors the gender binary (both in this statement and what you suggested to Ren, actually). It either is a binary or it isn’t. If it isn’t, then why use binary terms at all?
I phrased what I wrote based on the way it is commonly done by other writers. FWIW, I don’t even believe in the concept of binary gender constructions, but I’d bet my ass that Spitzer does, and the letter was written to him specifically. And you have the nerve to come in and make this about you? *rolls eyes*
Alexa,
You conversed with Ashley Dupre? If this is true, then this is the first instance I’ve been able to find where Dupre conversed with another sex worker.
I do sympathize with Ashley in that she did not ask to become a public sex worker. She intended to escort while pursuing a career as a singer.
That said, I can’t help but be annoyed by her constant reference to the “mistakes” she’s made. I don’t like this, because to the average person, she “must” be referring to her sex work when she says this.
Well, I’m not really interested in the “repentant hooker” routine, Alexa. I want her to say to us and the world this:
“I am/was a sex worker, and I’m proud it. I enjoy being a sex worker, just as much as I enjoy making music. Both have been/are a part of my life.”
I’m afraid that instead, Ashley is trying to erase the “sex work” aspect of her life out of existence. That is dishonest and ultimately self-defeating. Self-defeating, because she owes her fame to her sex work. But it’s also dishonest. And it’s something she’ll never be able to do.
So, if you’re in contact with Ashley, Alexa, you can tell her what I wrote here; that her sex work is as integral and important as the other aspects of her life, and something not to be ashamed of. Personally, I would love to write a screenplay of her life, but only in her full humanity: as a person, as a musician, and as a sex worker.
But then, I guess alot of people would love to do a screenplay about Ashley Dupre, so I would have to stand in line.
Anyway, I wish her well.
Susan
You conversed with Ashley Dupre? If this is true, then this is the first instance I’ve been able to find where Dupre conversed with another sex worker.
I have conversed with her casually on Twitter and on MySpace. I have intentionally avoided any conversation about the sex work part of her life, though.
That said, I can’t help but be annoyed by her constant reference to the “mistakes” she’s made. I don’t like this, because to the average person, she “must” be referring to her sex work when she says this.
While I agree with your sentiment, the treatment she’s gotten from just about everyone reinforces the belief in her mind that what she did was a “mistake.” Reading the books about her involvement in the industry (Natalie McClellan and Kristin Davis) gives the impression that she was wholly aware of what she was doing and enjoyed it. Sadly, that’s the way society treats sex workers once they’re outed. I, too, wish she’d embrace that aspect of her life and deal with it honestly.
Well, I’m not really interested in the “repentant hooker” routine, Alexa. I want her to say to us and the world this: “I am/was a sex worker, and I’m proud it. I enjoy being a sex worker, just as much as I enjoy making music. Both have been/are a part of my life.”
Quite honestly, I believe she will come to that point or something akin to it in the future.
I’m afraid that instead, Ashley is trying to erase the “sex work” aspect of her life out of existence. That is dishonest and ultimately self-defeating. Self-defeating, because she owes her fame to her sex work. But it’s also dishonest. And it’s something she’ll never be able to do.
I agree with you 100%.
Personally, I would love to write a screenplay of her life, but only in her full humanity: as a person, as a musician, and as a sex worker.
But then, I guess alot of people would love to do a screenplay about Ashley Dupre, so I would have to stand in line.
I’d like to see that happen myself, actually.
Thanks for your comments.
While I agree with your sentiment, the treatment she’s gotten from just about everyone reinforces the belief in her mind that what she did was a “mistake.”
I, too, wish she’d embrace that aspect of her life and deal with it honestly.
Yeah, I know she’s gotten that nasty treatment from people, and it sucks.
Ashley, if you’re reading this message right now, we want you to know that you don’t have to deal with what you’ve gone through in the past year alone. There are many people in New York City who accept escorting and other types of sex work as legitimate professions. And there are many women like yourself who have become escorts in order to provide a steady income while they have other pursuits. In your case, it’s your musical career. Other women escort to further their education. When you think of all the women in the city who are strippers, escorts, burlesque performers, dominatrixes, exhibitionists, porn-performers, and street-workers; they probably run into the hundreds of thousands. It makes you seem less alone when you think of it like that.
Unfortunately, our society makes every one of those women–including yourself–feel ashamed, alone, and less than a human being. Society feels that it has the right to mock you and make fun of you, and de-legitimize you as a person.
Well, guess what, Ashley? Society is wrong.
Society once thought that gay people were less than human, and could be made fun of. And although gay people still face discrimination in our society, great strides have been made. Gay people can now even have their relationships legally recognized in some states. Twenty years ago, this was unheard-of.
And it’s the same with sex workers. It’s going to take years for sex workers to reach the level that gay people are at right now in terms of societal acceptance. But it’s possible. Just recently a former stripper by the name of Diablo Cody won an award for best screenplay. This would have been un-heard of at one time. Perhaps, just perhaps, ten years from now, maybe even less, a former escort by the name of Ashley Dupre will win a Grammy Award for Best New Artist.
But societal acceptance isn’t something that one sex worker can do by herself, as you’re probably aware of. And because of the lack of societal acceptance for sex work, people will not forget that you did such work, or allow you to forget it. And that’s something that you’re going to have to overcome. And the best way to start overcoming this obstacle is to embrace your former (or current) profession of escort, and not feel ashamed of being what you were or who you are. You can’t change other people’s perceptions of your profession (at least not right away), but you can change your own perception of your chosen profession.
And the people who can help you through this, Ashley, are other sex workers who are working to change society’s perception of who they are, and are working to change how they feel about themselves internally as sex workers. Perhaps your lawyer has instructed you not to associate with other sex workers due to the legal bullshit that you’ve had to endure over the past year, and if that’s the case, then I hope that you can work with your lawyer to have this situation changed. Because, Ashley, if Eliot Spitzer can have a second chance, then you sure as shit deserve just as much of a second chance as he does.
There are organizations for sex workers here in New York:
http://swop-nyc.org/
http://www.urbanjustice.org/
I know people at these organizations who would be willing to meet with you. But if you don’t feel you can go that far just now, than you can still talk to Alexa. Because, Ashley, you don’t deserved to feel ashamed and alone.
Sincerely,
Susan
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