Facials
July 29, 2008
The facial is perhaps one of the most hotly debated concepts in sexuality today. People either believe them to be inherently degrading, or incredibly hot. They either love them, or they hate them. Few people hold positions that deviate significantly from either end of that dichotomy.
The origin of the facial for most people is porn, of course, just as has been the case throughout history with almost every other deviation from the basic penis-in-vagina/ass sex (who did ass-to-mouth before porn?). Before the facial, the guy would pull out and cum on the actress’ pussy, ass, back, tits, stomach, feet. At some point, a director decided that it’d be a good idea to have the guy cum on the woman’s face. Or maybe it was one of those accidental things, and it just looked so hot that other producers elected to replicate it. Nowadays, of course, it is next to impossible to find a porn sequence involving a cock that doesn’t end with a facial.
So, like good users of any quasi-educational medium, many people began to get curious about facials and thought it might be cool to give it a shot, so to speak. Girls wanted to know what it felt like, and guys wanted to see what it felt/looked like. Though I am positive the vast majority of the first times were done at the behest of the guys, I do know some women who were the instigators. And, just like with any other sex act, some enjoyed it, others…not so much.
But are they degrading? Are they disrespectful? Is the facial inherently an act of domination? Does the opinion of the one on the receiving end matter? (That last question is purely rhetorical because, as we know, it is the only one other than the opposite partner that matters).
A few years ago, the overwhelming majority of people would have argued that the facial was one of the most intensely degrading acts possible – it represents a guy depositing his “waste” on her face, or “marking” her face, the most personal feature a person has. Today, though, with the facial’s ubiquity in porn and the resulting mainstreaming of both the term and the act, you often find that many people will now just as vehemently argue that it isn’t inherently degrading.
Quite honestly, I had no real opinion on the subject until recently, when I experienced my first facial. I’d been with Nikki for a couple of years, and although we had an open relationship, we’d not been playing with guys. So I had not been in a position to even ask for a facial to see what it was like. Like many others, though, I’d seen it in porn many times and wondered what it’d be like to get one (and, let’s be honest here, even those of you who think it is gross still wonder what it would be like).
As happenstance would have it, the subject came up during a lunch that Nikki and I shared with four other women we know one afternoon. After listening to the conversation among the group of women we hung out with, and how they enjoyed them (to a person), my latent curiosity piqued to the point where I was moved to find a random guy to give me one. And then guys started offering to pay me to let them do it. So I let them. And I enjoyed it. And profited from it! Heh. And that’s how I ended up here, of course. But you know that already.
Now, from my own personal perspective, I find receiving a facial to be an intensely erotic experience. Not just from having cum splattered all over me, but from the totality of what takes place in those few moments leading up to it. If you’ve been on the receiving end of one, you know what it is like to be just inches away from that cock, with its huge presence looming before you, watching your guy jerk himself off (which I find highly erotic in and of itself), and knowing that he is getting himself off looking at you, your face, begging him, knowing that you’re allowing him to ejaculate onto that which is most personally your space. If that does it for him, then I’ve fulfilled my half of the sexual fantasy as I see it. And quite frankly I enjoy being the little slut who’ll allow a guy to cum on my face. It gets me wet, and I derive pleasure from it. I can’t pinpoint what it is about it that causes me to be that way…well, wait, maybe I can. Maybe I just find it a “dirty” act, and I get off on being a dirty girl.
And though I know it sounds weird, I *love* the feeling of cum hitting my face – the warm sensation, followed immediately by a quick cooling off of the semen. Sure, there’s a mess, but very little in any serious sexual encounter isn’t messy. And in my opinion, if you base your approved list of sexual activities on what does or does not cause a mess, I’d suggest you have an extremely limited sexual repertoire. Even penis-in-vagina sex produces a bit of a mess, especially if you’re not using a condom. Using the fact that it is “messy” as an excuse is purely a cop out, in my opinion.
What does a guy get out of it, when he could just as easily cum in your mouth, perhaps, and end up with you swallowing it? Isn’t that one of those “ultimate fantasies” that guys have always asked for, and why would he do something other than that? I do know there are people (of all genders) who believe that cumming on someone’s face is a waste of perfectly good semen. If not spent into a vagina, it should be going down someone’s throat. Once again, I find myself at a loss to identify any logic behind that mindset, but to each his own.
I think one thing that makes the facial so appealing to many guys is a combination of seeing my face, which is the embodiment of me in his mind, and seeing that “final result,” the cum, splattered all over that. When you add that to the “slut” aura that the facial has (only porn sluts do this, right?), the arousal factor is quite high. If I actually enjoy it, and convey that to him, then the arousal factor is increased that much more.
Now, clearly, there are some elements of dominance in the act. But dominance, in and of itself, is neither bad nor degrading. There’s nothing wrong with a dominant/submissive dichotomy during sex. In fact, generally speaking, the preferred end result in a sexual encounter is often the direct result of a dominant/submissive interplay (first in one direction, then in the other, typically).
A writer named Xorn Smith posted a polemic on Boinkology comparing facials and butt sex.
On the other hand, facials require…jerking off and a target. Even the physicality of the two actions speaks volumes: with facials the partners disjoin and physically separate for the climax while with anal you’re about as intimately conjoined as you can get.
Such a statement reflects a truly one-dimensional understanding of the nature of sex. Intimacy assumes many shapes, not just one defined by physical proximity. As I pointed out on Sex Hobbyist’s blog:
The problem I have with that statement is that it presumes a physical connection is required in order for the act to be “intimate” (which, presumably, the author substitutes for “valid”), when nothing could be further from the truth. The intimate spirituality between the partners is just as much a (valid) measure of intimacy as any physical connectivity, perhaps more so. So, I’d make the argument that a facial can be just as “intimate” as anal sex.
In my opinion, cumming on someone’s face is perhaps one of the most intimate things you can do. As I said before, the face is an intensely personal space. Cumming in someone’s mouth, pussy, ass, etc., moves the cum away from the face, and therefore there’s less of a direct emotional attachment to the end product of the sex. If he cums in her mouth, it is either spit out or swallowed (unless she’s one who likes to play with it for his/her entertainment, or perhaps snowball him), and therefore any attachment is fleeting, if even acknowledged. When you have cum on your face, it’s right there. It takes a huge amount of trust and confidence to allow a guy to ejaculate on your face as I see it.
So it is intimate, arousing, erotic, raunchy, slutty, AND messy. What more could you ask for in a sex act? 
Is the facial degrading? Despite what I know many of the radfems would tell us, it can’t possibly be negatively degrading if both people involved are participating willingly. I say “negatively” because some people enjoy (positive) degradation/humiliation play and therefore get off on being “degraded” as a part of the sex play, and facials can play into that if you allow it to. You can decide it is degrading for you, absolutely. And if you feel that way, then obviously you shouldn’t do it (or allow it to be done to you). Common sense, no?
But you don’t have permission to decide whether it is or isn’t anything for me or anyone else, let alone degrading. I would certainly argue that, at its worst, it is no more degrading than him cumming in my mouth and expecting me to swallow it (though I know many feminists would argue that that, too, is inherently degrading). If you construct an argument that when he cums in my pussy it isn’t degrading because we’ve both willingly participated in it (or is it because that is “normal” sex?), then you cannot rationally construct the opposite argument for any other sex act in which we’re both willing and consensual participants. Attempting to do so defies common sense (though that hardly deters plenty of people from trying).
To this day, I still can’t get my mind around the concept that someone believes that they can define something I willingly participate in as degrading to me. 
I’ve had clients ask if they could give me a facial, and I’ve always said yes (assuming they’ve been good clients to that point). I know that a great many guys see this stuff in porn, and I likewise know that their partners either won’t allow themselves to be facialized, or the client is just too scared to ask her for it. Either way, part of my role as their professional slut is to help fulfill some of their fantasies, and if I can do that by allowing them to cum on my face, then that’s what I’ll do. The fact that I enjoy the act just adds icing to the cupcake.
Posted by Alexa | Filed Under Sexuality, Work
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13 Responses to “Facials”
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I totally agree. It’s not degrading if it’s consensual. I really want to try a facial sometime! You just make them sound really satisfying!
You bring up interesting points, Alexa, regarding positive degradation and the intimacy of two people engaged in exploring sexual taboos or acts considered lewd or obscene by the general populace.
These two elements are rather typical in BDSM relationships and are pretty essential to a relationship to Me, at this point. The act of consensual degradation is to some extent merely the use of psychological and physical triggers to intensify the amount and focus of energy being exchanged between the two (or more) parties. It’s very much a cycle and a recycling of energy/feelings which are magnified by polarization of position of each person.
The exploration of the taboo and socially deviant acts is very intimate, regardless of the physical contact involved, because you are basically exposing some of your very deepest and most desperately kept secrets with another human being. To allow another person to know that you enjoy doing X, can be very liberating and empowering, especially for those that haven’t opened to their darker/kinkier desires before.
I cannot, at this point in My life, imagine a relationship without a strong mix of these elements and more.
I am curious, dear. How did you typically clean up/end the scene when you get a load of hot cum on your pretty (assuming so) little face?
M
i always find it weird when people try to classify any act as degrading or inherently anything. surely that depends on what the motivation behind the act is for both people, and of course consent etc. like you say, it is puzzling.
i’ve never ‘given’ without prior permission, and though my behaviour leading up to climax may on occasion be described as dominant/humiliating etc (to some lucky observer), it is never really me that is in control of the events if it only requires the girl to say ’stop’ or ‘no’ or something else which changes what i do (move her fucking head!).
i personally don’t feel the act itself is me being dominant, as in the moment before climax there is the worry - ‘what if i only give her a tiny trickle?’ ‘what if my diet has adversely affected the taste/smell?’ but it is certainly an ego thing for me. the first girl i was ever with told me she was, ‘totally impressed with how much you cum’ and ever since then the volume of end product is important to my enjoyment…in mouth or whatever orafice is invisible (usually…mmmm!) so on occasion, finishing on the beaty of a face, with the beauty of consent…and only with the beauty of mutual enjoyment i feel like i’ve done a good job. and the visual lasts a long long time too!
it’s pressure on me whereas the girl is only waiting. if she knows and approves of what she’s waiting for then it can’t possibly be degrading. i think a lot of people still try finding the arguments in support of a conclusion AFTER already deciding the conclusion. such people’s opinion is not worth shit but unfornately they need put in their place - as if they deserve justification.
i only meant this to be a small contribution alexa, but true to form i have provided you with something voluminous…i hope it is well received
Good morning, M.
The act of consensual degradation is to some extent merely the use of psychological and physical triggers to intensify the amount and focus of energy being exchanged between the two (or more) parties. It’s very much a cycle and a recycling of energy/feelings which are magnified by polarization of position of each person.
That is very well worded. I like that. <3
To allow another person to know that you enjoy doing X, can be very liberating and empowering, especially for those that haven’t opened to their darker/kinkier desires before.
Exactly right, and that is one reason why I suggested that this kind of activity can be just as intimate as anything experienced through being “connected” physically.
How did you typically clean up/end the scene when you get a load of hot cum on your pretty (assuming so) little face?
The first time I got one, I actually walked back to my hotel with it on my face - I wanted to see what it looked like. As you know, though (and I didn’t at the time), cum tends to thin out and become clear, so by the time I got up to my room, it pretty much looked like I’d been drooling more than anything else.
Since then, I typically just wipe it off with a towel.
What would you have me do with it?
Good morning to you, too, Scotty.
surely that depends on what the motivation behind the act is for both people, and of course consent etc.
Again, right on. I can certainly see someone labeling as “degrading” non-consensual facials (or any non-consensual sex, for that matter). But if the motivation is purely consensual sexual enjoyment, then it just doesn’t pass the logical sniffy test to claim that it would be degrading.
as in the moment before climax there is the worry - ‘what if i only give her a tiny trickle?’ ‘what if my diet has adversely affected the taste/smell?’
And see, that aspect of it is often lost on the viewer. The viewer always sees the woman, and doesn’t put any objective thought into what is going on at the other end of the equation. Both sides have thoughts, feelings, psychological constructs, etc., that go into how they view the experience (individually and collectively). I guess that speaks to the constant “victim” image that people are always projecting onto women.
i only meant this to be a small contribution alexa, but true to form i have provided you with something voluminous…i hope it is well received
Always, sir.
Well the only thing that kept me from letting my boyfriend give me one for so long is I didn’t want it to get in my hair, thus I would rather swallow. Hell I even hold him off of me during sex so he doesn’t sweat on my hair! It just takes so long to get it straight again.
So the “messy excuse” as you put it was the main one I used which for me is the most valid of all because I am black I’m very protective of my hair (I still don’t know how to swim because I don’t want to get it wet) because of that he never asked, but since I have started going more or less “natural” I have found I love me a good facial/pearl necklace! You should have seen him the first time I asked for one. aww… memories lol
Miss Lyna,
Hell I even hold him off of me during sex so he doesn’t sweat on my hair!
I’d like to see the acrobatics involved with that!
So the “messy excuse” as you put it was the main one I used which for me is the most valid of all because I am black I’m very protective of my hair (I still don’t know how to swim because I don’t want to get it wet)
I can certainly understand that in this kind of case.
You should have seen him the first time I asked for one. aww… memories lol
Ahaha! I bet. Thank you for sharing.
Icing to the cupcake….Yum!
Now, from my own personal perspective, I find receiving a facial to be an intensely erotic experience. Not just from having cum splattered all over me, but from the totality of what takes place in those few moments leading up to it. If you’ve been on the receiving end of one, you know what it is like to be just inches away from that cock, with its huge presence looming before you, watching your guy jerk himself off (which I find highly erotic in and of itself), and knowing that he is getting himself off looking at you, your face, begging him, knowing that you’re allowing him to ejaculate onto that which is most personally your space.
Alexa,
You’ve raised some interesting points with this post; some of which I can immediately agree with, and others which require a bit more thought.
I’ve personally never viewed the ‘facial’ as a degrading act, tho I know many women do — often because the radfem agenda tells them that they’re not supposed to like it or even want to do it in the first place… but our sexuality isn’t so black or white.
(some of these same women also view giving blowjobs as a degrading act…)
I wouldn’t necessarily agree outright that this is as controversial as you suggest — however, what I would agree with is that our awareness of this act has indeed been amplified by porn, and as you so correctly point out, it’s nearly impossible to find a porn which includes a blowjob that *doesn’t* end in a facial! So, guys see this and then somehow they feel that they need to experience this for themselves.
I imagine you are (as I am) quite an accomplished and proficient cocksucker… lol… so, quite often some ejaculation is going to wind up on my face — tho what we’re really talking about here is something disconnected from the blowjob, and as something which is independent of another act — a facial is a guy ejaculating on our face. Period. Which in itself can be quite erotic under the right circumstances.
As to whether or not there’s an inherent subset of dominant or submissive sexuality in that interplay, I’m not entirely sure. From my perspective, I view my own sexuality in terms of being sexually submissive, so I view all things thru that lense — how a man feels when he does that to me I can’t honestly say.
Do I feel submissive when it happens? I suppose so… but then again I always feel submissive.
An interesting branch of this topic is Bukakke (the practice of multiple men ejaculating on a woman’s face, and often ending with her drinking come from some other vessel.)
This is seen in extreme pornography and is done in some fetish settings — and is also something which occupies space in my own erotic imagination too.
So, perhaps there is a submissive aspect to this.
Tho I think you’ve articulated how men may perhaps view this quite eloquently, as always.
As well as the dynamics of how that experience is viewed thru our eyes.
Great entry m’dear.
xoxo,
nina
Goddess,
I imagine you are (as I am) quite an accomplished and proficient cocksucker…
I appreciate your confidence in me.
Tho I think you’ve articulated how men may perhaps view this quite eloquently, as always.
One of the really neat things about my work is the fact that I can spend some time talking to the clients about some of this stuff. They don’t mind talking with me about it because they know that I am genuinely interested in it and that I won’t be judgmental and whatnot with their opinions and thoughts. It is adding a whole new layer of understanding for me with respect to the subject of human sexuality. It allows me to see into the mindset of the guys, which of course is something I could not otherwise do.
What would you have me do with it?
Just hold still while the other girl licks and slurps it off your face and then feeds it back to you while I take pictures.
It is adding a whole new layer of understanding for me with respect to the subject of human sexuality. It allows me to see into the mindset of the guys, which of course is something I could not otherwise do.
I think that’s incredibly fascinating — and you’re right, all we really can base our understanding of the opposite gender on is from our experiences and direct feedback.
I think it’s kind of cool that you’re in the position to gain that kind of unfiltered feedback, because realistically, the men you see are more likely to give *you* an honest answer about something because it isn’t as if they have to worry about what their wife or GF will think of them when they tell the truth. lol
Very good Alexa!
xoxo,
nina
ps. the pic of the facial you chose is quality.
i see it as degrading that it is demanded or at least expected that every girl in mainstream porn has to take a facial in every sexual encounter that doesn’t involve purely muff diving - half the time the guy gives no volume that justifies his standing for 5 mins wanking instead of fucking the poor girl. and often it is the behaviour/body language of the particular male actor which suggests the male is aggressor in the mirror to the female victim stereotype that you mentioned with regard to the feminist opposition - it is very rare that the woman is allowed to be proactive or even active for the facial she has earned, those who are tend to be specialists rather than actresses. the woman is shown being told always but never asked and the overwhelming regularity of man standing + woman bowed to him (as if the alternative angles are so much more difficult) obviously carries unconscious psychological subservience in a girl learning how to please men. i would have thought it more the bra-burning feminist thing to demand women claim ownership and control of the cumshot, when really it is theirs because they wear it.
it’s not any one scene or actor which is degrading but how the (porno) media’s particular fashionised/politicised representation of reality influences the impressionable in society. Few would dispute that if it became such that in every real life sexual encounter with men, it was demanded or expected that a woman take her facial and smile then obviously it would be degrading. Yet that is the dynamic which appears as the convention through the sex media.
but the main issue is not the degradation i don’t think, it is the psychological criminalization. obviously i’m not ashamed to splash it about and think it looks good but some will be repressed by the vilification all the mary whitehouse’s of the world throw at us perverts.