Retirement Age?
July 25, 2008
I had a reader ask an interesting question via e-mail a few days ago:
Out of technical curiosity, what do you think is the retirement age of a successful “courtesan” as you like to say? It seems like one would lose their earning potential fairly quickly?
The question itself suggests that escorts have a shelf life, perhaps built on her presumed youthful looks (the reference to her “earning potential“), whether the author intended that or not. The truth of the matter is the diametric opposite, however. Earning potential actually increases the longer you stay in the business. In fact, generally speaking, women in their 30s make more money as escorts than any other age group on average, believe it or not.
Retirement or leaving the field is almost always a factor of when the escort gets tired of the work, or finds herself in a position where she can’t or doesn’t want to do it any more (such as getting married, though that is not necessarily the case). Some women, especially the younger ones, do the work to make money for college or for basic living expenses, and women of all ages will occasionally do the work to make extra spending money. These women generally exit the business when school is finished, or when they’ve achieved whatever financial goal they’ve set for themselves. But there is a significant group of women who do the work because they enjoy interacting with people and/or know they have the talent to do the job well, and enjoy being able to capitalize on that. Those who stay in the business for the long term and keep themselves in shape often make incredible sums of money and live a life of relative luxury. As long as they can do that, there’s no reason to retire in their eyes.
There are two basic strata in the escort world. I refer to them as the “younger set” and the “high end.”
The younger clients are commonly in the 20-30 age range, college educated to one degree or another, and are generally just looking for a quick fuck. They’re not seeking the longer companionate kind of service that the high end set is. And, conveniently, the younger women in the business are typically offering just a quick fuck. They’re not so much looking to provide a “companion” type experience as they are a quick sexual encounter as a means of making a few dollars. And though some claim to provide a true “GFE” (girlfriend experience), it is typically offered in a one-off kind of way, such that she’ll be a girlfriend for the duration of the single appointment only, as opposed to offering the recurring companion-type service.
Conversely, the majority of clients in the “high-end” are in their 40s and 50s, usually very well educated, and are almost invariably from the higher income brackets. And though these guys might occasionally go for the younger woman, they typically seek the services of the escort in her 30s or early 40s. These women are older, more mature, worldlier, and are much more sexually experienced than those of the younger set. A significant number have college degrees (including, quite often, graduate degrees). Yet they still represent a “younger” woman in the mind of the 40 or 50 year old guy. Since these clients are, in many cases, looking for a “deeper” experience or recurring relationship, they seek out someone who has a similar level of life experience and is willing to provide that level of service. It’s sort of a best of both worlds for each of them, if you will.
This mutual compatibility factor between client and provider has a lot to do with how to the two strata align themselves, obviously.
If you do a search for escorts on Google, you’ll find those with the higher rates are typically women in their 30s and 40s. They will almost invariably have very elegantly designed web sites, professional photographs, and package rates that run from around $1K an hour to well into the thousands for an evening of “luxury companionship.” Many will offer package combinations involving international travel, meals at 4-star restaurants, or expensive excursions to exotic locales. This reflects the fact that the majority of these women actually derive their livelihood from their work as escorts, and therefore put much more effort into polishing themselves and presenting a professional image. It is their life, and they concentrate their entire effort on providing that high level of service.
The younger women in the business usually have so many other things going on (college, social life, other jobs, etc.), that they don’t have the time, patience or desire to engage in the longer, drawn out experiences that many high-end clients are seeking. They also tend to lack the experience and social graces required to pull off the “high end” level of service, and their rates will generally run in the $100 - $300 an hour range.
The older women usually don’t have these constraints and typically don’t have someone or something they’re tied to that would prevent them from engaging in this line of work. And they’ve developed that sense of etiquette and style that permits them to serve as a dinner companion at a thousand dollar-a-plate function, for example – the kind of service these types of clients might be looking for. When you combine all of that with the much greater (presumed) commonality in life experiences between the 30-year old courtesan and her client, it becomes that much easier to understand why the high-end client would seek out these kinds of women.
I am a relative oddity, actually (not that that’s anything new! lol); younger and offering the recurring companion-type experience. It’s sort of a mid-range kind of thing, for all intents and purposes. My appointment and rate structure is set up to discourage the quick fuck session (though I will do that if you want to pay my fee to do it), but I am not set up to do the “high end” exotic sort of thing, either (though I can come close to it). And as I think about what I am writing here, it occurs to me that the majority of my clients also fit into this mold – they’re middle-aged (30s and early 40s), and are past the time when they’d be looking for the quick lay, but aren’t really interested in the longer-term relationship with that aura of permanence about it.
The way I position myself allows me to operate amongst a wider range of client types, actually. I can function well with the older clients seeking a relationship with some semblance of recurrence to it, as well as with the younger types who are transitioning from seeking the quick fuck to giving some thought about using the services of a provider who adds a little extra oomph to the experience – those ready to take the “next step” if you will. And while my rates are a bit higher than the typical escort in my age range, I have a very broad base of sexual knowledge and experience, the necessary social graces, and an understanding of the psychology behind how to apply myself to provide a higher level of service than most young escorts.
When should an escort retire? As I said at the outset that is wholly a function of how she feels about her work and whether or not she’s attracting the kind of clients she wants to serve. I know women who retired and moved on, only to return because they missed either the money or the personal interaction they enjoyed as a part of the business (or both). One woman worked as an escort on her own, formed her own agency, and then sold it off to return to independent work because she missed the interaction with her clients and the personal freedom the work provided her. And, then, I know women who worked with one client and decided it wasn’t for them.
As for my retirement, as I stated in one of my first posts on this blog, I plan to do this work for the two years I am in graduate school in San Francisco, and then I’ll exit gracefully. At least, that’s the plan. Who knows what the future holds? But, my current life goals and objectives don’t include being a courtesan for the long term. My retirement will come from wanting to move to the next chapter of my life, whenever that occurs. 
Posted by Alexa | Filed Under Alexa, Sexuality, Work
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3 Responses to “Retirement Age?”
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Did you realize that just as you plan on leaving the business i’ll be legal. That’s good for you, I wouldn’t want to be stealing your customers or anything.
J/K! 1. I would never steal anything from you, including business 2. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. 3. I don’t really want to go into it. hah
A failed plan.
How does your gf feel about the chance that you might continue with the work? I know it’s not something you plan on doing but it’s obviously a possibility, I was just curious if you had discussed it already or are waiting until that time comes to see if you would even be interested in it. Then again, I guess there’s not much to talk about if you don’t think you’d want to. lol
Great answer. I think I was over simplifying the Johns, whereas the way you put it they seem a much more diverse and complicated group than one would expect.
I can only speak for myself here. I came into this industry probably later than most girls do, and wish I had discovered it earlier. This will be my sixth year as a working girl and it has taken me most of that time to realise you can’t just work and work…. giving so much of yourself brings a girl to breaking point, and I got buts of ‘burn out’.. so I have learned to temper my work with periods of time off.
I only see one client per day. I am not greedy for money… those days are long gone.. but I am still driven by my own sexuality and miss the work if I take too much time off.
I have also learned that by being a little older than the ‘norm’ whatever that is…. I know what i like and know how to get it, and hopefully know how to please.. mainly because I am a willing partner, and not just someone who is out to make loadsa money in the short term.
As for retiring? Who knows? Could be tomorrow, or in five years !
I like your blog btw.
Sarah x